Return to Transcripts main page
CNN Live Event/Special
The War Comes Home
Aired August 12, 2014 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The following is a CNN Special Presentation.
EMME BECKETT: I was in denial of how bad it really was. The outer shell of him came back. But everything on the inside was dead. It's like it just died in Iraq.
DELON BECKETT, MILITARY SERVICE MAN: The first day I was in Iraq we're walking to go get chow. We got hit with a mortar. It just lit up the skies. It was a big one. These guys will just shoot and shoot and shoot and shoot these things at you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Jesus Christ. Camp Anaconda is the most attacked base in the country.
D BECKETT: And all of the sudden your heart starts to raise and you starting to get pretty scared, you know, sort of having anxiety about it. And, you know, your hearing this stuff like throughout the day, you know, and throughout the night. And I guess these fears start taking on a mind of their own, you know. And you start to catastrophize a lot of things.
SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, THE WAR COMES HOME HOST: Delon Beckett served at Camp Anaconda, Iraq in 2010. He was a vehicle specialist, ordering carts for trucks and Humvees. He never left the base but the war came to him.
D BECKETT: And the really psychological impact I didn't really understand until more towards after I left.
O'BRIEN: Delon was 25 when he came to a small town outside San Diego, California. The change in him was dramatic.
D BECKETT: When I left that environment is when it all started to catch up to me. Loud noises started really messing with me. I remember one night I was sleeping and my wife came in from work. And she comes down, you know, to say hi or whatever and she woke me up and I, you know, almost punched here in the face.
O'BRIEN: And he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress in 2011. Doctors at the Veterans Administration had given him anti-anxiety medications, anti-depressants, sleep aides and a drug that's supposed to block bad dreams.
D BECKETT: When I was taking think medication you're cut off from feeling emotions like, you know, love and stuff like that. Either you feel nothing or you feel angry, nothing else. It probably paves a lot into that problem.
O'BRIEN: When the drugs didn't work Delon started drinking heavily. Tonight like most nights he'll drink two bottles of wine.
D BECKETT: The alcohol helps suppress my feelings and the video game takes me out of this world. It removes me from reality. I got a good family, good kids, good job but it doesn't mean anything to me. It has no attachment to it for me. And I look at all this stuff around me its just empty.
O'BRIEN: His wife and young daughters are living in that empty life, 9 year old Laurena (ph) and 3 year old Jayla.
D BECKETT: I was having a lot of suicide ideation. I was having a lot of homicide ideation too. And it was getting really scary. Kids just sitting, they're not doing anything, you know, they're not bothering you. You see an object and you start, you know, for instance I use to see, you know, hammer and all of sudden I would just thinking about picking the hammer and just smashing their brains and I was just like sitting and I'm like this is like getting -- this is getting ridiculous. I was afraid of what I was going to do.
O'BRIEN: It's estimated that 1 in 5 veterans of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars suffer from post-traumatic stress, traumatic brain injury or depression. Veterans are killing themselves at an alarming rate. And post-traumatic stress is a significant predictor of suicide by all vets. An estimated 22 veterans commit suicide each day, almost 8,000 a year. These numbers don't include drug overdoses or death by violence.
E BECKETT: I have never been afraid of him ever hurting the girls. I know for a fact that I piss of him and knowing him like maybe 90 percent of the time. But I don't ever see him ever laying a hand on me. If he was going to hurt anybody he would only hurt himself.
D BECKETT: She doesn't want to play now.
O'BRIEN: For the Beckett this is a typical night.
D BECKETT: Hey stay down here.
JAYLA BECKETT: I found a (inaudible), daddy.
E BECKETT: Delon, Delon, time out.
D BECKETT: Time out.
E BECKETT: Laurena, get back down.
D BECKETT: No, no more, done. No more. Stay down here with mom.
(Off-Mike)
E BECKETT: The stress of it literally just weighs you down. Honey?
D BECKETT: Yeah. E BECKETT: Down stairs now. (inaudible)
D BECKETT: Books.
E BECKETT: What books?
D BECKETT: The one in the corner.
E BECKETT: I guess I shouldn't have to monitor my husband like he's an adult but at the same time its like if I don't then he could be like in critical state.
D BECKETT: I'll pick them up tomorrow. Don't worry about it.
E BECKETT: I already picked them up.
D BECKETT: Thanks.
E BECKETT: And so there's fear when that comes around.
O'BRIEN: Delon is the sole breadwinner. But its Emme whose left to pick up the pieces.
E BECKETT: Are you done or are you mad?
J BECKETT: I'm mad.
E BECKETT: Why are you mad? Can I have a hug? No, OK.
Its difficult, like really difficult. Like I would just (inaudible) I want him to work through it and not just give up. But I'm aware of the fact that he might just give up.
D BECKETT: Come here. Put your arm up.
E BECKETT: You want to smell armpit?
D BECKETT: I don't care. I haven't felt the will to live for a while.
O'BRIEN: He's tried everything, doctors, drugs, drinking.
E BECKETT: You want (inaudible)? Baby?
O'BRIEN: Delon and a dozen other soldiers are about to be thrown headlong into a program that's offering hope. Its called Save a Warrior. Retired Veteran Jake Clarks started the program in 2012.
JAKE CLARKS, RETIRED VETERAN: You guys ready?
O'BRIEN: He says the numbers speak for themselves.
How many men have you had comer through this?
CLARKS: One hundred active duty and returning warriors. I've come to Save a Warrior. O'BRIEN: How many would you guess were suicidal?
CLARKS: Somewhere between 80 and 90.
O'BRIEN: And how many have killed themselves?
CLARKS: None.
O'BRIEN: Not one?
CLARKS: Not one. And this is the last house on the block.
D BECKETT: I got a lot riding on this. That my life is riding on it.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GARRETT COMBS: We were conducting a patrol through this orchard and we came to an opening.
Everything got real quite. In (inaudible) I remember thinking that like things were not right.
We stopped at the edge of this big open field and then all of the sudden we saw some people running through wood line, 50 yards to our left. I feel like we're getting setup for ambush.
And I just heard like ...
(OFF-MIKE)
O'BRIEN: Garrett Combs lives not far from Delon Beckett with his fiancee Lindsy (ph) and their one-year old son Freeman (ph).
COMBS: I was a pretty good kid. I really had a great positive view of the world.
O'BRIEN: The attacks of September 11th moved to him to enlist. He was 18 and have a passion for photography.
COMBS: I have very deep sense of patriotism and I feel like the situation called every guy of my age to go and enlist in the service.
I walked in though the recruiter's office wanting to be a combat photographer. They have showed me some cool ranger videos and they showed some cool infantry videos and they were like, "Hey man, you can live in two weeks or however, was like a month if you enlisted in the infantry." And I was like, "All right. Cool sign me up. That looks fun."
O'BRIEN: Garrett would end up serving his country for almost five years. The army's 2nd battalion 4th infantry regiment, 10th mountain division.
COMBS: We're - I mean, all of us we were like pretty close. I have like -- I'm glad I have these photos because we have some like good sentimental, like a lot of good memories attach to these photos. That's myself again.
O'BRIEN: I just don't see it.
He looks nothing like you.
COMBS: Yeah.
O'BRIEN: Do you think he looks like you?
COMBS: No, I think that looks like a little boy in that photo. I look like I'm playing army.
O'BRIEN: He was deployed to Afghanistan in 2006. Five days of intense fire fighting in the Chora Valley would change Garrett forever.
This is footage from that battle.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: All right landing over there.
COMBS: It was kind of a mass casualty situation for us.
(Off-Mike)
COMBS: Our squad leader was the one who took the RPG basically, square and adjust. My friends would like just walk and pass me days and when we did the head count, we realize that we are missing one person.
And it was really -- it broke my faith men. It broke my faith in something good coming of what we were doing. The person that I was before was gone.
My view of the world at that point became very dark.
O'BRIEN: He wanted out. Instead, he was stop lost (ph). His enlistment extended for two more years. They needed soldiers in Iraq.
COMBS: Stop Lost just took the wind out of a lot of our sales and we were like done, over it. We had experience some very intense in Afghanistan and it was like a huge more out crasher.
O'BRIEN: Garrett was struggling post-traumatic stress but he felt there was a stigma with an official diagnosis.
COMBS: You don't want to tell your squad leader, I have an appointment at mental health. That was not really acceptable or excusable. It was kind of like, OK, here are some -- here's these drugs that we give to soldiers who are having your the same problems. Now, go back to work.
O'BRIEN: By April 2009, Garrett was home. The war came back with him.
COMBS: I knew that I had a temper problem because there was holes in my wall. And I knew that I was paranoid because there was guns all over the house.
I knew that I had anxiety because I would swear about somebody on the road if they've got too close to me.
O'BRIEN: The birth of his son Freeman was a turning point.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: (Inaudible).
COMBS: Having a son, you know, having Freeman, hearing him start to say my name and seeing him walk and all of these things like it gives you a lot of purpose and a lot of reason to want to make it, you know what I mean? To wanted to find a positive and constructive way to direct your feelings, you know.
Lindsey especially her tolerance and her patience and her kindness in her like ability to empathize was something that she's never experienced is really serving me a lifeline.
One of the only reasons that I want to be alive is because of my family. Otherwise, it wouldn't really matter.
O'BRIEN: Despite support from his family, Garrett struggles to contain his anger.
COMBS: So much of it is internal. When you're doing the daily routine or when you're doing like Monday in tasks is when you have a lot of time to reflect in yourself.
This stuff in your head that is playing out all the time, it becomes annoying and then the annoyingness starts to really hurt and then it turns into this noise and it starts building and it builds and builds and builds until you have like meltdown.
A lot of times it's stuff that like Lindsey and Freeman don't even see. I've got to the point now where he's too old for me to like freak out in the house because I don't want to traumatize him.
O'BRIEN: Garrett knows of at least five soldiers from his battalion who have killed themselves and since he's come home. Five more if he counts drug overdoses, death by cop or other violent circumstances.
He is one of 13 soldiers who will spend the next five and a half days at Save a Warrior.
COMBS: And I am expecting something to happen. The fact that I have a new family, I feel like the stakes are pretty high.
If nothing changes then I'll be all right but I'll probably continue to, you know, just be unhappy in my mind.
O'BRIEN: The stakes are high for everyone.
E BECKETT: He told me multiple times if this program doesn't he is going to kill himself. So, I am literally (inaudible) time right now.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK) O'BRIEN: Delon Beckett is an Iraq war veteran with post-traumatic stress. He often thinks about suicide.
D BECKETT: It's like being in a burning building. The only way to get out is to jump out the window. You don't want to die but you don't want to burn either until my wife says, like I'm done. I don't want to burn anymore. I'm ready to jump on that window. So the only thing that's keeping me from doing it right now is going to this program. He got all ridding on this that my life is ridding on it.
O'BRIEN: Malibu, California, Save a Warrior cohort 010 is arriving. The soldiers represent all branches of the military. They are quiet, nervous. Jake Clark fix of the program.
JAKE CLARK: We are in burking on a hero's journey. We deal with post-traumatic stress. And if you where to ask the average person what part of that warrior is missed up, what do you think they would point? They point to your head. This isn't broken. This is doing exactly what it's supposed to do, OK? This is broken. And that's why and you're in that chair I assert.
O'BRIEN: Jake Clark is a veteran. He served for 14 years in the army, retiring as a captain. He works for the Secret Service, the Los Angeles Police Department and the FBI.
CLARK: When I left the FBI I'm surprised I don't kill myself. I have some significant personal issues, untreated alcoholism, dry drunk. I didn't even realize it at the time. And it was just coming out in every area at my life.
O'BRIEN: After nine years of recovery, rehab, and finally meditation. Jake got his life back. He wanted to bring the things that save his life to other veterans. He called it Save a Warrior.
Why does Save a Warrior work?
CLARK: I think it revisits the sense of purpose, I think it put guys back in relationship that were previously isolated from other warriors, it creates a sense of belonging.
O'BRIEN: The next five days will be filled with physical challenges, bonding exercise, and classes, from meditation to understanding how post-traumatic stress affects the brain. The program is free to each soldier, donations cover the cost, roughly 1,600 dollars per person.
The goal is to teach veterans tools to deal with daily stress. To give them options other than taking their own lives, but mostly to show these warriors that they are supported by other veterans.
CLARK: Society will not save this generation of returning the warriors.
O'BRIEN: Who's going to save them?
CLARK: They will save each other. We can't save them all but together they can all save themselves. UNINDENTIFIED MALE: Guys, I want to introduce your project directly.
O'BRIEN: Bobby Farmer is a decorated sergeant who served in special operation. He did 10 tour of duty, in Iraq and Afghanistan between 2003 and 2011. He earned a bronze star for valor and a purple heart. Bobby suffers from post-traumatic stress and took part in one Save a Warriors first cohorts. He says it was a turning point.
BOBBY FARMER: Good evening. Now, this is where I talk to you guys. Why are you here?
O'BRIEN: He knows if he tells his own story others will be able to tell theirs.
FARMER: I pulled out my glock 19 out of my walker. I sit on at my desk, make sure it was loaded, stock it at my mouth, I was going to pull the trigger. The next thing that crossed through my mind was my kids, my two sons.
At that point, I say, "I don't want some other (inaudible) raise my kids." I put my gun down and I called VA suicide hotline. And that is where I can tell you a 40 minute wait on hold with glock pistol sitting on my desk. It's funny isn't it, glock pistol sitting on my desk and I'm on hold. And I hang up the phone, I never even talk to anybody that night, you know.
O'BRIEN: With gun in track, Bobby went looking for confrontation. He was about to become one of the uncounted suicide, dead by cop when he confronted a young police officer.
FARMER: Young kid, they walk up to me, he goes, "Listen." He is, "If you do anything, if you raise your hand or do anything, they're going to kill you, you realize that." And I was like, "Yeah." And I guess the police don't fight, I was like (inaudible) he cuffed me and put in there and take me to hospital.
O'BRIEN: Bobby would spend the next nine weeks in a civilian run hospital specializing in military post-traumatic stress.
The next day is rough for Delon. He hasn't had drink in 24 hours and exercise using strings shows the man how connected they are to each other. It's the emotionally draining. Suzi Landolphi, a family therapist walks the soldiers through the dramatic experiences they had before they join the military. A study out Montclair State University shows that trauma in childhood can exacerbate post-traumatic stress.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Xavier (ph) would you please read your list?
XAVIER: Sexual abuse, (inaudible), rejection.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Alcohol abuse, divorce, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, poverty, divorce.
XAVIER: Rape, molestation.
D BECKETT: Alcohol neglect. When I join the military, I was (inaudible) for the things that happened to me when I was a child, when I was growing up. And when I...
O'BRIEN: Is that why you join the military?
D BECKETT: I joined the military because I got really deep into alcohol and get really depressed. I snap when I was over in Iraq, when I came on leave, I never knew why but now, I do. My couples already over phone before I went there. And with all the extra stress, this is too much for me.
O'BRIEN: All the pain is on the table for these 13 men. Today was emotionally brutal. Tomorrow will be physically grueling.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
O'BRIEN: Meditation is at the core of stable warrior, it will teach the soldiers to control their raising thoughts.
DUSTY BAXLEY: Keep your eyes closed for 10 minutes and slowly come back to your selves. Let's make ourselves comfortable and let's begin.
COMBS: It's hard to sit quietly and not want to be doing something or be to not be thinking about things. When you relive those kind of traumatic events, it's like having a song stuck in your head and not being able to stop singing or thinking about the song.
O'BRIEN: Except in your case its terrible thoughts.
COMBS: Yes, some kind of like graphic event.
O'BRIEN: Dusty Baxley teaches transcendental meditation for the warriors. He thought meditation to more than 200 veterans today. A ranger with the 80 second airborne, he parachuted into the invasion of Panama and deploy to desert shield and desert storm.
BAXLEY: It's mechanical technique. When we settle down, we close our eyes, first thing that we hit with thoughts. Some like you who's got thoughts and thoughts and thoughts, whole time, rampant going crazy in your head. So you're mind slows down and you experience that little bit of space and stillness between thought. And with that deep, deep rest, a little stress and anxiety comes out.
There's little chemical release that comes in the brain from the pleasure center, its a little oxytocin and little opening gets released, you feel better.
O'BRIEN: More than 350 studies say that transcendental meditation works. Several show it reduces symptoms of post-traumatic stress, like aggression, anxiety and insomnia. The issue is getting these warriors to embrace the process.
COMBS: There are steps about everything. But I do have an open mind. I don't really know yet. I don't know if I'll stick with it yet. D BECKETT: I just felt like all the stress was just leaving out of the top of my head, you know, it was really, really awesome. I am just all smiling and getting it right out. It's really cool.
O'BRIEN: The next session is designed to teach the warriors to trust and support each other. A rope hangs 35 feet off the ground with a back drop of the Pacific. The view is beautiful but the assignment, terrifying.
CLARK: One of the things that is a protective factor against suicide is fear of the pain of death. And our guys have seen so much death and have experienced so much trauma in their own lives that there is a sense of nihilism, like I don't care, I really don't care.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So that's the reason we do a rope course. This gives us the opportunity to engage with something that is authentically scary and daunting but is still very, very controlled in both physically and emotionally safe.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK, holy ...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yeah.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There you go. Looking good guys.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Good.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Looking good.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Step.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Lean in, lean in, lean in.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're good, you're good. You're good, you're good, you're good, you're good.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Take a deep breath Mike (ph).
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Lean in to me, lean in to me, lean in to me.
O'BRIEN: Xavier (ph), an army veteran is next. He has multiple spinal fractures, a new hip and a shattered knee from a parachute accident. He's afraid.
XAVIER: I feel I'm back in the parachute, I got hurt and the parachute (inaudible). The harness makes me feel uncomfortable.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tell me what you want.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Your really (inaudible). A big deep breath.
O'BRIEN: Xavier begins his climb.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're killing it man, you're killing it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're almost there. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: On the other ...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Don't give up.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: ... on the other ...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yeah.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Xavier, I have you, I promise. You are safe. Hundred percent safe.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Slide those legs, slide those legs if you can.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Little more baby, little more.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You can do that bro.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's my boy Xavier right there.
(Crosstalk)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Little more, you can do it.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: That's my boy Xavier right there.
O'BRIEN: He's embraced by men he didn't even know a few days ago.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Check in with this.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are you feeling OK?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You actually went the furthest out of anybody.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yeah, you did it.
O'BRIEN: For cohort 010, a brotherhood is starting to form.
EXAVIER: I appreciate you guys helping me out there. I couldn't done it without you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (inaudible) help in there.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We love you brother.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yeah.
EXAVIER: I'm learning how to love you guys back.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're good.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We're right here for you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Airborne.
O'BRIEN: Delon is next.
(Off-Mike)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Good job Delon.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Let's go Delon.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Delon, Delon, Delon.
(Off-Mike)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nice job.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Beautiful.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Eyes up, eyes up.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Come on Delon.
O'BRIEN: Thirty-five feet up, it's a leap of faith.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Beautiful.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Stand up, stand up.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nice.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: (inaudible) way up.
(Off-Mike)
D BECKETT: When I got up to the top they're saying take something in your life that you want to leave behind and leave it up there at that pole. And I just told myself, you know, is I'm going to leave this all behind. You know, I don't want to feel like this anymore.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
D BECKETT: When I got up to the top they're saying take something in your life that you want to leave behind and leave it up there at that pole.
O'BRIEN: Delon Beckett is about to have a breakthrough.
D BECKETT: I'm all right. I'm coming down.
It just fell so good being that person are done. Before it interests anybody, now you're interesting somebody that you just met, you know, with your life. I just felt like this enormous burden of how is going to have been lifted off for me. I felt strong. I felt, you know, invisible.
O'BRIEN: After meditation, a lecture on post-traumatic stress in the brain.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Limbic system is really important to understanding post-traumatic stress because this is where it does occur in the Limbic system.
O'BRIEN: The rest of the day will be spending equine therapy. It as simply and as challenging as leading a 2000 pound horse.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: They have no shame. They don't have any fear of hurting anyone's feeling. So they don't like what's was being put out on the table they're going to tell you.
O'BRIEN: Chien Crise (ph) who leads the session says the horses are like the soldiers. They're highly sensitive and they trust easily. There are dozens of equine programs that helps veterans with post- traumatic stress. The goal is to teach the soldiers how to communicate better.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You got it?
O'BRIEN: Kuda (ph) is a five-year-old draft horse.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Awesome. So try this. Trust him.
O'BRIEN: Garrett is asked to get the horse to walk and track then contour around the ring.
COMBS: Just come in here ...
CLARK: Yes.
COMBS: ... and give them everything.
O'BRIEN: He is skeptical.
COMBS: I honestly thought that the horses were trained to do what they were supposed to do which was to run around in a circle, you know, I really seeing like they were conditioned to do it.
O'BRIEN: OK.
COMBS: It's seemed they are too easy, you know what I mean?
O'BRIEN: Like it was kind of bullshit.
COMBS: Yeah, like that is bullshit.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You absolutely have that right to be skeptical.
COMBS: How many times has this horse done something like this?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Actually in a group like this, this is actually the first time that I've really put him in a situation like this. Let say a non-training type of thing.
It's like that. And when I noticed right off the back you ain't completely out of your boundaries and his and physically try to push him.
COMBS: Come on. Come on. UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What is it he needs right now?
COMBS: Some direction. Come on. Come on. Oh men he is stubborn like me.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How are you feeling?
COMBS: Scared. And I feel scared.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You feel scared?
COMBS: Yeah.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What are you scared about?
COMBS: Not being able to do this.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's OK.
COMBS: Yes. No, no, I'm not going to able do this right now.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK.
O'BRIEN: Frustrated. Garrett finds therapist to Suzi Landolphi and makes the surprising confession.
COMBS: I was on the 14th floor of hotel in Florida like at 2:00 in the morning thinking about jump like jumping off the balcony. I felt guilty ...
SUZI LANDOLPHI: Yeah.
COMBS: ... because I have so much. I have a beautiful woman in life. I have a beautiful son. I felt guilty even saying that I ever want it to do anything like that.
O'BRIEN: Why was that important for you to be one of those who had not considered suicide?
COMBS: There's a lot of people who've experienced much worst than me, who might have a reason to want to do that or who might have more ever reason to want to do that.
O'BRIEN: It is the first time Garrett acknowledges out loud that he's considered suicide.
LANDOLPHI: He did some amazing thing and he saw some horrible things happened and eventually that that the near just kept wearing and wearing and wearing.
So you can't go back to pretending.
COMBS: I think a lot of people in my life will be surprise to hear that I considered ending my life. Somebody telling me that it was OK to feel that way as a huge part and like being OK with that.
Thanks. Thanks buddy.
O'BRIEN: The project is nearing its end. The men walk a labyrinth and are told to leave their former selves behind in the center. Bobby Farmer hands each warrior a stone, a symbol o their brotherhood.
FARMER: You're such a positive person. Let it out man.
O'BRIEN: Is this a chore? I mean its five days, right?
CLARK: Right. It's access to the cure. It's access to it.
O'BRIEN: The first step?
CLARK: For some, for others it's a turn of the dial that's required to create that welcome home that's been missing for them. The society doesn't owe us anything. We can't fault them for what they don't know. Could they do more? Sure everybody could do more. We could do more for one another.
O'BRIEN: The crisis of soldier suicide say these veterans, can only be solved when each soldier feels responsible for his fellow warriors.
FARMER: I know you got friends. I know you got friends. Well I know you got friends and they all need help. You probably could think about three or four of them right now in your head. Reach out to them.
That might be the text that saves their life. Cohort 010. Your project is complete. Congratulations. Congratulations.
O'BRIEN: Its over. Garrett and Delon are eager to go home. Will the progress they have made and the bonds they formed stay with them. Can Garrett contain his anger? Will Delon stay sober?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
O'BRIEN: After five and half intense days at Save a Warrior, Garret Combs and Delon Beckett are eager to go home.
D BECKETT: I just started to get this overwhelming, I miss my family and I was like, "Wait, what?" I miss my family? And I, you know, so it's supporting feeling. I was like, "Holy crap, I miss my family. I'm going home tonight." You know I'm going to go home and see my wife and I'll go see my kids, you know?
E BECKETT: Be careful the girls are asleep on the couch.
D BECKETT: (Inaudible). I need to take a shower. You want to take a shower?
E BECKETT: Yeah.
D BECKETT: All right.
O'BRIEN: First thing in the morning Delon meditates, a ritual he started at Save a Warrior then he gathers his family in front of the kitchen sink.
D BECKETT: I woke up and Emme took out the bottle of alcohol that she's been hiding from me and I took the 151 and I poured that junk out down the drain. I had all of my family watch me do it. For me that was symbolic of moving forward, you know, that this is now a part of my past, not my future. My kids may not understand it now but I know they will later on in life. I don't know where the AA place is. I got to look it up though, right. This evening I'm going to find out (inaudible).
O'BRIEN: For the first time ever Delon takes his youngest daughter to gym class.
Three hours north, Garrett is also home with his family.
COMBS: The person that I was needed to go through a radical transformation in order to be the best parent or the best father that I can be.
O'BRIEN: He once wanted to be a combat photographer. Now Garrett is pursuing a career in photo journalism.
COMBS: My experience I think gives me a valuable insight into telling stories. I was always very curious and at some point I lost that curiosity. I would do things the Save a Warrior did help me get on the track to like gaining back some genuine compassion and the genuine drive to like really explore my curiosity with the world. I have some faith that things will get better. I have some faith that like I'll be able utilize techniques that I learned as a way of hopefully being able to heal some damage that was done. But time will tell, Yeah.
(Off-Mike)
E BECKETT: Don't do that.
