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CNN Live Event/Special
Connecting with Bonobos; Revelers Celebrate New Year in Hershey, PA, New York City, New Orleans & Memphis. Aired 10-11p ET
Aired December 31, 2015 - 22:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
KATHY GRIFFIN, CNN GUEST HOST: Have you seen Nick Jonas, lately? I love him. He's such a Pavarotti. He's Andrea Botticelli. He's the greatest singer ever. Please get me him. I need some face time. He's my hall pass. My hall pass, trust me. So he doesn't care about Joe. He doesn't care about the other one who married the chick in Jersey. Or three (ph)...
[22:00:16] ANDERSON COOPER, CNN HOST: I want to welcome everybody. It is the top of the hour, 10 p.m. on the East Coast of the United States. For those of you who are just joining us.
GRIFFIN: You want a bro hug?
COOPER: Yes, we're doing a bro hug. This a kind of...
GRIFFIN: Ow.
COOPER: That's a Nick Jonas bro hug. I know, because I, of course, want a lingering, like just a little linger. But there's no linger.
GRIFFIN: Oh, God. Did you kiss him?
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: I feel like you're...
COOPER: He's such a nice guy. Could not be better (ph) liked.
GRIFFIN: And he's in better shape than you are.
COOPER: Of course he is.
GRIFFIN: Exactly. So it hurt. Like, you could actually feel your hardened Jonas muscles.
COOPER: I know.
GRIFFIN: Against your soft...
COOPER: I didn't feel it -- no.
GRIFFIN: Lips travel and go to -- what did you hug, bearaboos [SIC]? What's that thing on "60 Minutes," you were obsessed with those chimps or whatever?
COOPER: Oh, bonobos.
GRIFFIN: Yes, bonobos.
COOPER: They are great. We -- let's check in with Gary Tuchman, standing by.
GRIFFIN: And then we're going to get into why you like bonobos better than people.
COOPER: You don't think I like people?
GRIFFIN: You loathe people. You love bonobos and flocks (ph). And Gary Tuchman...
COOPER: I'm doing physical contact with you.
GRIFFIN: I'm not a bonobo. I'm a person.
COOPER: Let's take a look. There's a picture of me with bonobos, I'm told, that we actually have.
GRIFFIN: I know that you love your bonobos.
COOPER: Bonobos are endangered in DRC.
GRIFFIN: That was a great piece.
COOPER: In the Democratic Republic of Congo. And they climb -- these are baby bonobos. They're so adorable, and they climb all over. It was, like, the most amazing time.
GRIFFIN: But this is how you wish all of your contact would be? With, like, trainers around you to protect you?
COOPER: Who wouldn't want this?
GRIFFIN: What I'm saying is if you were alone with a bonobo you'd get scared. But knowing that all of the, like, experts are there.
COOPER: There's no experts.
GRIFFIN: That's how you want every -- no, no, the people that, like, feed them and train them.
COOPER: They're very friendly.
GRIFFIN: So you feel safe When you are in your Ralph Lauren top.
COOPER: The thing about bonobos is that they're highly sexualized. And unlike, they've never killed another bonobo.
GRIFFIN: They started having sex on "60 Minutes."
COOPER: They -- they rub against each other.
GRIFFIN: Describe it. COOPER: That's all right. So, yes, and also this year...
GRIFFIN: Go ahead.
COOPER: ... speaking of highlights of the year, cyou were very nice to be at CNN heroes. I got to hold a sloth this year in "CNN Heroes".
GRIFFIN: You were uncomfortably in love with the sloth.
COOPER: Let's take a look at the sloth.
GRIFFIN: I connected.
COOPER: The sloths, they sleep 18 hours a day. They poop once a week in the same spot. What's not to love?
GRIFFIN: Now, were you picturing Nick Jonas when you were holding the sloth?
COOPER: Nick, by the way, was on "Heroes" the year before that.
GRIFFIN: Let's just call him. Like, "Hey, what's up Nick?"
COOPER: He was on the year before that, which I very much appreciated, and he was very kind to do that. And...
GRIFFIN: Nick Jonas is opening for Demi Lovato, who I believe is plotting across me.
COOPER: And -- and he chews pink gum (ph), which is really good.
Anyway, let's check in with Gary Tuchman and his daughter, Lindsay Tuchman, who's worked for a CNN affiliate.
GRIFFIN: In Hershey, Pennsylvania, where my tickets are flying off the shelves for "Kathy Griffin Live"?
COOPER: They're at the -- they're getting raise the giant Hershey kiss.
Gary, Lindsay, happy New Year's. Welcome.
GARY TUCHMAN, CNN CORRESPONDENT: Anderson, Kathy, happy New Year to you. I have the great honor of working with my daughter, Lindsay Tuchman, in this city, Hershey, Pennsylvania, which is the largest chocolate manufacturing city in North America. We are literally standing on the corner of Chocolate Avenue and Cocoa Avenue. That is literally the name of the streets. And behind us, Lindsay?
LINDSAY TUCHMAN, JOURNALIST: There's a cover band going on right now. It's pretty awesome. All the hits ranging from, like, Pink all the way to the Rolling Stones. So everyone's loving it. We're dancing up here.
G. TUCHMAN: We're dancing up here. And coming up soon is the Disney star, Olivia Holt, who stars in a Disney XD show called... L. TUCHMAN: "Just Kickin' It."
G. TUCHMAN: "Just Kickin' It," the karate show. This is a big Disney star. And she's a big -- there's a lot of fans here.
L. TUCHMAN: People are excited.
G. TUCHMAN: Only 14,000 people live in Hershey Pennsylvania, but they're expecting 10,000 people here. And this is something you didn't know. Everyone knows the Hershey bar and the kisses. But what else does Hershey make?
L. TUCHMAN: yes, this surprised me. Twizzlers. Who knew that chocolate makers made Twizzlers?
GRIFFIN: Lindsay, I don't mean to interrupt, but I feel like I've grown up with you, watching you run through the park. And now look at you. You're all grown up, Lindsay.
L. TUCHMAN: How are you?
GRIFFIN: You've grown so much, you can eat all the chocolate you want.
COOPER: Yes. She's grown up, too. Kathy -- that's very true, Lindsay, Kathy has grown up right before our eyes.
GRIFFIN: Remember when they used to run through the park?
COOPER: I know. You used to run in the park.
L. TUCHMAN: I've been running for years (ph).
COOPER: And Lindsay has been doing great at...
G. TUCHMAN: Absolutely.
COOPER: Yes. She's been doing great. She's been anchoring. She's been doing great reporting. And we're very proud. And it's great to see you working together.
GRIFFIN: It is. And it's good to see Gary. He's like a real reporter. He's not like an anchor model. You know what I mean? He does, like, the real stories.
COOPER: What are you saying?
GRIFFIN: Yes, yes.
COOPER: Gary, Lindsay, we will come back to you shortly. We're very glad that you're there for us.
GRIFFIN: Gary laughed. He loved that joke.
COOPER: I just...
GRIFFIN: Gary loved that joke.
COOPER: By the way, as a kid...
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: ... I so wanted to go to Hershey, Pennsylvania. I had heard, like, there was this amazing chocolate park. I loved Hershey.
GRIFFIN: Is this the part where you whine about your childhood?
COOPER: No, I'm just -- I had a great childhood. I'm just saying, I -- it was something I always wanted to do. So I'm very happy we're there tonight.
GRIFFIN: And your mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, wouldn't take you to Hershey, Pennsylvania, to see chocolate?
COOPER: I'm sure she would have. I don't know.
GRIFFIN: It's almost like I had a picture of myself with your mother Gloria Vanderbilt at a dinner party.
[22:05:06] COOPER: You hang out with my mom.
GRIFFIN: I love your mom.
COOPER: You -- my...
GRIFFIN: Your mom and I connect on levels you and I never will. So she throws these rocking dinner parties. Sometimes it's...
COOPER: I don't get invited to them.
GRIFFIN: You're not technically invited. But here's...
COOPER: Who's that?
GRIFFIN: Gloria.
COOPER: There's -- Gloria Steinem is there.
GRIFFIN: There's Ben Brantley from "The New York Times."
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: And there's Gloria Steinem, feminist icon and friend.
COOPER: Marti Stevens.
GRIFFIN: Marti Stevens.
COOPER: The amazing singer.
GRIFFIN: Amazing singer. Phil and Marlo. Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas, who got the Medal of Freedom.
COOPER: Yes, I know.
GRIFFIN: Marlo just got it. So did Steinem.
COOPER: And Phil Donahue. What an amazing guy and amazing career.
GRIFFIN: I'm going to their house after this.
COOPER: Are you?
GRIFFIN: I'm going to Marlo and Phil's after this. You didn't get the...?
COOPER: I did not. But...
GRIFFIN: Yikes.
COOPER: ... wow. That's awkward.
GRIFFIN: Also Rachael Ray tweeted. She wants a shout-out. Hi, Rachael Ray. Should we just -- OK.
COOPER: What are you doing?
GRIFFIN: We're going to do a very high-tech. And I see Rachel Ray.
COOPER: What is now, "The Romper Room"?
GRIFFIN: Yes. We're saying hi to Rachael Ray.
COOPER: I don't need to -- you said it.
GRIFFIN: I can't believe you are so rude to Rachael Ray.
COOPER: Rachael Ray, thanks for watching, Ray -- Rachael.
GRIFFIN: Anderson is really moody.
All right. Hi, Johnny.
All right. So what do you think we talked about at this party, because...?
COOPER: I don't know.
GRIFFIN: You went down pretty hard. It was mostly about how you were the difficult child and, like, a lot of -- like, Gloria would say things like, "Anderson wants to go to Hershey, Pennsylvania. And I don't understand. I grew up in Bergdorf Goodman, where they had fine chocolate. I prefer Godiva. But you know Anderson. Once he gets on a role."
And then Steinem saying, like, "I always thought he was sexist."
And Phil is like, "That guy doesn't have a pot to pee in."
And then Marlo says, "I'm that girl." It was that kind of a night. And Ben Brantley gave you a Holbrooke (ph) deal.
All right, that's not exactly how the party went. But in my imagination it did.
COOPER: All right. My buddy Gus Kenworthy is going to be stopping by, Olympic gold medalist.
GRIFFIN: So will you tell me more things that you didn't get in your childhood?
COOPER: I'm not saying there are things I didn't get.
GRIFFIN: Are you saying your mother didn't give you chocolate?
COOPER: I never -- I never said that. All I said is...
GRIFFIN: Do you want Nick Jonas to give you chocolate, you know what I'm saying?
Hey, Nick Jonas.
COOPER: I apologize for ever mentioning Nick Jonas.
GRIFFIN: Get a chocolate bar and 20 bucks.
Oh, you're -- I'm sorry, you're apologizing to Nick Jonas.
COOPER: I want to check in.
GRIFFIN: Demi Lovato has her fan army possibly trying to kill me. But no, it's all about you...
COOPER: How many people do you think are trying to kill you, because you...?
GRIFFIN: I think you're trying to kill me. Oprah; Demi Lovato, for sure; Ryan Seacrest, obviously; Taylor Swift, maybe; and any girl squad. I'm nervous about squads. Like, what is this about?
I was at a party, and I tried to make up with Taylor Swift. Because they introduced the both of us, and I looked at Taylor Swift. I thought she'd be funny. And I thought she would think it was funny when I went like this, "Taylor." (POINTS AT ANDERSON, THEN AT HER OWN EYES)
COOPER: Why would she think that was funny?
GRIFFIN: I thought she would think it was funny.
COOPER: Actually, I did that to you at "Heroes." So I thought that was funny, yes. Well...
GRIFFIN: Taylor Swift and the girl squad walk past me and I was like, "Taylor, I was just kidding." And then the girl squad waited outside the ladies room, and I was afraid they'd jack me. COOPER: I like Taylor Swift very much.
GRIFFIN: I know you do, but I just -- I just think she -- I would think that was funny.
COOPER: Big fan.
GRIFFIN: Fine.
COOPER: Big fan.
GRIFFIN: Shake it off. Shake it off.
COOPER: Like, just shake it right off.
Let's go to Poppy...
GRIFFIN: No bad blood here.
COOPER: Let's go to Poppy Harlow in the crowd here at Times...
GRIFFIN: Is she crowning? Poppy, are you crowning?
POPPY HARLOW, CNN CORRESPONDENT: I am. I am, Kathy. I am. What are you going to do about it?
GRIFFIN: I'm going to deliver a baby live on CNN, Poppy Harlow.
HARLOW: That's great. Anything for ratings. Anything for ratings. All right, guys. Thank you.
They call these thunder sticks. They're not very thunderous. They're pretty good.
COOPER: They call them what?
HARLOW: They call them thunder sticks. But they don't make any noise. I don't know. Al, come in here.
GRIFFIN: Poppy, are you really going to give me a phrase like "thunder sticks" and just sit there?
COOPER: Pizza.
HARLOW: I just want Anderson to have to deal with you saying "thunder sticks" all night.
GRIFFIN: I love it.
COOPER: Thank you for that, Poppy.
HARLOW: We are bribing them with the best baby names. Must be original, no profanity. Give me a name, you get a slice.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sarah.
HARLOW: Original. Let's try again.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Amelia.
HARLOW: Amelia. OK, pizza.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Ella.
HARLOW: Ella, I like Ella. Pizza, you can take the pizza.
And Leslie, my producer, is insisting that we have plates, because she's a producer. And smile for the camera. This is what amazing producers do.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hello.
HARLOW: They give you plates for pizza.
What's the name?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Amelie.
HARLOW: Emily? I like it. Name?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Adelaide.
HARLOW: Adelaide, I love that.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hurricane.
HARLOW: Hurricane -- Kathy, I'm naming my baby who's coming tonight Hurricane.
GRIFFIN: I think that's very sensible.
HARLOW: On -- on another not -- on another note, we have a Twitter question.
GRIFFIN: OK.
HARLOW: Guys, they were watching Don and Brooke, kind of showing you guys up just a little bit in New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: I know.
HARLOW: "Should Don and Brooke get in the hot tub together in New Orleans?"
GRIFFIN: That's a no-brainer. Absolutely.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, if I was there, really, because I am so cold right now.
HARLOW: You're cold? Are you kidding? It's 40 degrees. Try living in Minnesota. Should they get in the hot tub?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: They should. Because we're freezing and we would love to get in a hot tub.
HARLOW: They're from L.A.
Should they get in the hot tub?
[22:10:04] UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, they need to get in the hot tub, quick. Get in the hot tub. Get in the hot tub for me.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right now, it's so cold. My feet are freezing.
HARLOW: The final slice of pizza goes to you, my friend. You've got to share it.
Guys on Twitter, let us know. #CNNNYE, should Don and Brooke get in the hot tub?
COOPER: OK.
HARLOW: Kathy, I've got to go to the hospital.
GRIFFIN: You should do the La Jolla (Ph) method and deliver your baby underwater.
COOPER: Poppy -- Poppy -- all I can say, Poppy, is you are being such a good sport. And I appreciate you. Thank you so much.
OK. You know what...
GRIFFIN: I love Pops.
COOPER: The saddest moment just occurred. Do you want...
GRIFFIN: What?
COOPER: Because I do.
GRIFFIN: OK. So Anderson went to a safe place, which is he gets this look whenever Poppy is talking or anyone else, frankly. And he's like, "Oh, God, I'm so bored with my money and my pedigree."
And then I go, "Nick Jonas is singing." And he went like this, "Aaa!" And I go, "He's not here. It's a record."
And he was like, "I know."
But he actually thought, like, he could summon -- this is who this man is.
COOPER: I got a little excited that maybe he was performing here or something.
GRIFFIN: He thinks if he thinks a thought, it just happens.
COOPER: No, I'm not...
GRIFFIN: Nick Jonas shows up with his shirt off, and then we shave his chest.
COOPER: Oh, Lord.
GRIFFIN: It's not "Magic Mike." Are you going to be in "Magic Mike"? That would be a good career move for you. You should be in that.
One time I talked to Channing, Channing Tatum.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: And I go, because I love to bust his you know what. And I go, "Tatum, what are you up to?"
And no irony, he goes, "I'm doing 'Mike 2'." That's how he talks. Just "Mike 2."
COOPER: He was great in "Firefox," was it? "Firefox." I love that movie.
Wasn't that the movie?
GRIFFIN: OK. It was -- first of all, you mean the DuPont movie?
COOPER: Yes, the wrestling. Wasn't it team Firefox?
GRIFFIN: Is it "Firefox"?
All right. The Carrell movie. Nobody can hear us. Anyway, I just think it's...
COOPER: Anybody?
GRIFFIN: You are acting like, first of all, here -- I...
COOPER: How do you get -- what?
GRIFFIN: "Foxcatcher."
COOPER: "Foxcatcher." I'm sorry.
GRIFFIN: OK. Here's the thing. He doesn't know who any actors are until they bulk up. So here I am with Channing Tatum. What I said, "What are you doing," and he said, "Mike 2." And now Anderson, who I guarantee you two years ago would be, like, "What's a Channing Tatum?"
COOPER: You know what he...
GRIFFIN: And now that he's bulked up, he's like, "He was really good in 'Firefox.'"
COOPER: You know what he was also really good in? He was so funny in -- what was the movie...
GRIFFIN: "Firefox 2"?
COOPER: No, like Seth Rogen did, where there -- it's the end of the world, and they're at...
GRIFFIN: You know what? Tweet us the answers.
COOPER: It was like "This is the End" or something?
GRIFFIN: Did you just strike me?
COOPER: No. I'm holding onto you. But anyway, he plays -- he has a cameo in that which is so funny.
GRIFFIN: So is your hall pass Nick Jonas or Channing Tatum?
COOPER: I'm not answering that question. I don't...
GRIFFIN: You don't have to. I will.
Anyway, Nick Jonas is honestly still playing on the loud speakers, and Anderson is glancing around to see, like, if he's going to come up with some barbells like, "What's up, Anderson? Want to work out?"
COOPER: He's a really good actor.
Forget it.
GRIFFIN: Nick Jonas is a really good actor?
COOPER: In "Kingdom," he's really good.
GRIFFIN: Yes. That's -- we'll go with that.
COOPER: And Jonathan Tucker is great.
GRIFFIN: What happened to Sean Penn, your best friend?
COOPER: Mark Conseulos. Sean Penn is amazing.
GRIFFIN: I make one Sean Penn hair joke, and you're like, "He's amazing." Nick Jonas and Sean Penn are not on the same level.
COOPER: Why do you have to put people on a level?
GRIFFIN: Is Sean Penn -- is Sean Penn your hall pass?
COOPER: Why do you have to put people on a level?
GRIFFIN: That is edgy. That's weirder than Norman Reedus.
But, please, the memes, with Anderson Cooper and Norman Reedus with, like, an arrow through their head and, like, their guts coming out. That is what this is secretly all about. Trust me.
COOPER: All right. We have much more ahead. Gus Kenworthy, Olympic...
GRIFFIN: Who won the Super Bowl this year?
COOPER: We're going to take a short...
GRIFFIN: Wow. Why don't you ask Nick Jonas? Nick Jonas probably knows. Or Channing Tatum or "Firefox." "Firefox."
COOPER: "Foxcatcher." I'm sorry.
GRIFFIN: Isn't "Firefox" a movie with like -- sorry. Are we still on camera?
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: It's with Clint Eastwood.
COOPER: As soon as rehearsal is over. And the live show...
GRIFFIN: We're not on the air, right?
COOPER: We'll be fine.
GRIFFIN: OK, guys.
COOPER: We'll be fine. Less than two hours away now, we're going to bring you all the best of the celebration from all around the United States...
GRIFFIN: How many Super Bowls have been played?
COOPER: ... to all around...
GRIFFIN: Wow. Not even a ballpark?
COOPER: They don't play in a ballpark. Thank you. Ba-dum-bah.
GRIFFIN: Ba-dum-bah.
COOPER: We'll be right back, more celebrations as we count down to 2016.
GRIFFIN: What is the Roman numeral for 49? I bet you know this.
COOPER: That was...
GRIFFIN: Come on, Dalton. Let's go, Dalton. Four years.
COOPER: That...
GRIFFIN: You should have gone to Cho.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GRAPHIC: 2014 New Year's Eve Live Flashback
[22:18:04] GRIFFIN: About 3 in the morning, he will be in a ball sobbing, being spooned by his mother again, because he will not believe that, like, three out of ten million loving tweets are somewhat negative. He cannot get over it. So Gloria get ready. Keep the light on.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
COOPER: And welcome back. Wow, OK. We are here with five-time world champion skier and Olympic silver medalist, Gus Kenworthy. Hey, how is it going?
GUS KENWORTHY, OLYMPIC SILVER MEDALIST: It's going well. How are you doing? Thank you.
GRIFFIN: Hi.
COOPER: So this is your first time in New York for New Year's Eve, right?
KENWORTHY: Yes, it is. It's my first time. I have only ever been in Telluride for New Year's Eve. It's where I grew up. So it's my first time in a big city, and Times Square is crazy.
COOPER: I was in Telluride the last couple days. I feel like I met everybody who knows you. I met your high school principal. I met, like, your friend, Woody. I feel I met pretty much -- I met your brother.
KENWORTHY: Oh, my God. People are going to love these shout-outs.
Yes, everyone was excited.
GRIFFIN: And a shootout to Woody and also his high school teacher.
KENWORTHY: Yes, we're going to shout out there. Shout-out to my niece who was just born, like, a week ago, Bobbi.
COOPER: Yes, congratulations on that.
KENWORTHY: My family was waiting for that shout-out.
COOPER: So -- so what else -- what big event do you have? You have the X Games coming up, don't you?
KENWORTHY: Yes. The X Games.
GRIFFIN: Did I get lipstick on you?
KENWORTHY: I hope so.
GRIFFIN: Sorry.
KENWORTHY: The X Games are the last weekend in January in Aspen.
GRIFFIN: What are The X Games?
KENWORTHY: They're like our sports, skiing and snowboarding and snowmobiling's pinnacle event. GRIFFIN: And porn?
KENWORTHY: Yes, there's...
GRIFFIN: The X Games?
KENWORTHY: Yes, like the triple X games?
GRIFFIN: That's what I was thinking.
KENWORTHY: Exactly.
GRIFFIN: I knew it. Why do you always talk me out of these things?
KENWORTHY: No, it's just sports. The sex and stuff that goes on at the event has nothing to do with it.
GRIFFIN: He's nimble.
KENWORTHY: I've heard.
GRIFFIN: Agile.
COOPER: So to The X Games. And then you're going to be training for the Olympics again, is that right?
KENWORTHY: Yes. The next Olympics is 2018 in PyeongChang, South Korea. So I'm training -- training for that.
COOPER: Cool. Excellent. What else are you doing tonight?
KENWORTHY: Just hanging out. Taking in the crowd. Hopefully, a New Year's kiss. Watching the confetti, the countdown.
COOPER: You may need to take the ears off.
(KENWORTHY REMOVES HIS STAR HEADBAND AND PUTS IT ON COOPER)
GRIFFIN: There we go.
COOPER: That's going to help.
[22:20:10] GRIFFIN: That's a moment.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: That's why we're trending.
COOPER: Yes. For sure.
GRIFFIN: I know. So who do you want to kiss?
KENWORTHY: Well, I already kissed you, but you're welcome to come find me again at midnight.
GRIFFIN: I'm not alone. KENWORTHY: Yes. My boyfriend Matt is here with me.
GRIFFIN: Buzz kill.
KENWORTHY: I know. He's ruining our moment.
GRIFFIN: Who's your hall pass?
KENWORTHY: Kathy, unless you're giving Anderson the look.
GRIFFIN: Yes.
KENWORTHY: He's welcome, too.
GRIFFIN: OK.
COOPER: She's been asking me about my hall pass all night. You don't have to answer that question. You don't have to answer all questions that she asks.
KENWORTHY: That's OK. Can I just have one on the cheek? Is that too much for TV?
COOPER: We'll do it during commercial break.
KENWORTHY: OK.
COOPER: Well, welcome to New York.
KENWORTHY: He's not as crazy as you are.
GRIFFIN: I know.
COOPER: Yes. Very happy to have you here.
KENWORTHY: Thank you.
COOPER: I'm so happy for all the good things that have happened to you this year. And I wish you the best at the X Games.
KENWORTHY: Thanks so much.
COOPER: You see his cover at "ESPN Magazine"? She's been talking about her magazine covers all freaking night long.
GRIFFIN: I'm on the cover of "Ad Week." (KISSES KENWORTHY)
COOPER: All right.
KENWORTHY: Thank you.
COOPER: You know Gus came out this year.
GRIFFIN: Hey, man, that's cool. Miley Cyrus is pansexual. Did you hear that?
COOPER: I did hear that.
GRIFFIN: So that means she's attracted to gay people, straight people, bisexual people, people who are transgender, people who might be transgender, anyone except people who are minors, people who aren't consenting, or animals.
KENWORTHY: That's exactly right. She is a complete lover. She's a total sweetheart.
GRIFFIN: Sound familiar?
COOPER: I don't even know what that means.
GRIFFIN: I don't know. I want to be pansexual.
KENWORTHY: You're welcome to be.
COOPER: You can be whatever you want.
GRIFFIN: I think I just became.
KENWORTHY: You just came?
GRIFFIN: Yes.
KENWORTHY: Oh, my lord.
COOPER: We're going to take a short break.
GRIFFIN: I didn't say it.
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: Yes. I love you, Gus.
COOPER: Wow.
KENWORTHY: Sorry.
COOPER: Oh, man.
KENWORTHY: I'm getting us in trouble.
GRIFFIN: We love it here at TLC.
COOPER: Not TLC. All right. We're going to take a -- let's take a look down in the crowd and see who's down there.
GRIFFIN: I thought we were going to talk for, like, 20 more minutes.
COOPER: We're good.
GRIFFIN: And take our clothes off.
COOPER: We're good. Gus is going to probably go somewhere much more fun right now. KENWORTHY: NO, I'm staying here.
GRIFFIN: I love it.
COOPER: We're going to take a short break. We'll be right back with more live here from Times Square as we count down. One minute -- one hour, thirty-eight minutes to go.
GRIFFIN: I don't think we're going to commercial.
COOPER: We're going to commercial. We are.
GRIFFIN: I don't think so.
COOPER: See?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
[22:26:03] COOPER: A lot of people kissing there on -- here in Times Square on New Year's Eve. 10:25 p.m. I hope you're having a good New Year's Eve wherever you are. Our friends on Twitter have some suggestions for me after an exchange we had a little bit ago, you mentioned I needed a hall pass.
GRIFFIN: Yes. You acted like you didn't know what that was.
COOPER: I had no idea what you were talking about. Viewers have weighed in, who should be my hall pass. Somebody suggested Justin Trudeau, the new prime minister of Canada.
GRIFFIN: Yes. I would have gone with Maggie, because she's more exciting. But that's me.
COOPER: Tom -- another one, Tom Brady, the quarterback of the New England Patriots.
GRIFFIN: I would love you to really break down the science of the Tom Brady scandal this year. Anderson?
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: OK. You really don't even know what Deflategate is?
COOPER: No. Of course I do. We did lots of stories about it.
GRIFFIN: Go ahead.
COOPER: No, I mean, I know what it is. But why -- there's nothing new about it.
Anyway, the third one I got was actor Danny DeVito.
GRIFFIN: What about the Peyton Manning scandal? The Peyton Manning scandal.
COOPER: Yes, that I know about. GRIFFIN: What is it?
COOPER: I've been on vacation, but I have been following it.
GRIFFIN: What's the scandal?
COOPER: Al Jazeera reported stuff. But I don't -- whether or not he got HGH delivered to his house, I believe it was.
GRIFFIN: All right. That's pretty good. Sorry.
COOPER: Which, by the way, I should say he categorically denied.
GRIFFIN: Well, what happens if you don't say that?
COOPER: And says he makes (UNINTELLIGIBLE).
GRIFFIN: Like me, as a comedian, you can say anything. But you have to...
COOPER: No, I just want to be accurate. I don't want to leave it hanging out there. It seems unfair to leave that sort of thing hanging out there. I want to be able to say what his response is.
GRIFFIN: I love to leave things hanging out there.
COOPER: You do, Kathy.
GRIFFIN: What about Kourtney Kardashian dating Justin Bieber? Where do you weigh in on that?
COOPER: What, who?
GRIFFIN: The rumor is that Kourtney Kardashian, who's the most unexpected one, could be dating Justin Bieber.
COOPER: You're making that up.
GRIFFIN: I'm not. OK, tweeters, you know I'm not making that up.
COOPER: OK. What do I know?
GRIFFIN: What about when Justin Bieber, there was a naughty pic leaked of his you know what, Justin Bieber. And then his father tweeted, "How do you feed that thing?"
COOPER: Really?
GRIFFIN: I swear. Jeremy Bieber, the Bieb's dad, tweeted, "How do you feed that thing?" when a picture leaked of Bieb...
COOPER: We got it. We got it. OK.
GRIFFIN: Sorry. Hall pass.
COOPER: Yes. So what else has been big for you this year? GRIFFIN: OK. So I want to actually go over some of the cities I'm
going to.
COOPER: No, no.
GRIFFIN: Because I -- oh, I want to say coming up, we have Adele live.
COOPER: No. We don't.
GRIFFIN: We have Kendrick Lamar. Madonna.
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: Let's talk about that.
COOPER: Madonna?
GRIFFIN: Yes. What happened when you went to the Madonna concert, Anderson?
COOPER: I had a really nice time at the Madonna concert. I had fun.
GRIFFIN: Really, do we have any video?
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: I bet we do.
COOPER: Oh, no, please.
GRIFFIN: Because you're Anderson Cooper. You can just open doors.
COOPER: No. OK. Oh, no. This is so embarrassing. It really is mortifying. OK. Oh, come. I've never watched it. I really cannot watch.
GRIFFIN: Just watch it, watch it.
COOPER: I can't. I really can't. I'm so embarrassed. This is so terrible.
GRIFFIN: What is wrong with you?
COOPER: I'm a terrible dancer.
I can't. Really, please, let's stop.
GRIFFIN: You're a real drake.
COOPER: Can we stop this, please? It's so -- oh, man.
GRIFFIN: OK, she -- you know, I do apologize.
COOPER: I love Madonna.
GRIFFIN: I apologize, Madonna.
I mean, just like all the women in your life. She had to do all the work. She was Madonna.
COOPER: I know.
GRIFFIN: She had her hands like this.
COOPER: I know.
GRIFFIN: "I'm so high and mighty. I'll raise the roof for a minute." I mean, all right. Cabbage patch.
COOPER: I should have cabbage patched?
GRIFFIN: Well, I'm just saying, you should have been, like, "Oh, my gosh. Madonna, I'll do whatever you want." You're like, "I don't know. I'm nervous."
COOPER: I was. I was nervous. I don't dance in public.
GRIFFIN: You should have been. Just grind it.
All right. Now, in my experience, when I did a similar cameo...
COOPER: Oh, yes?
GRIFFIN: ... in the Britney Spears show, it went a little something like this.
COOPER: OK. Let's watch.
GRIFFIN: Roll the tape.
COOPER: Oh -- Oh, my.
GRIFFIN: Yes. Whatever Britney wants to do to me. Crawling like a dog.
COOPER: Wow.
GRIFFIN: Crawling around like a dog.
COOPER: Didn't they tell you in advance this is what -- actually, they did. They ran -- see? They just brought me up onstage. I didn't know.
GRIFFIN: Let me say this. They told me more than they told her. You know what I'm saying?
COOPER: Oh.
GRIFFIN: You know? I saw the pinwheel eyes. But I love her. I can't help it.
COOPER: You always... GRIFFIN: Look at me playing along.
COOPER: I mean, you -- of course you are, because you're a performer. I don't -- I...
GRIFFIN: But Britney's not -- you know, Britney's not as -- in the moment as Madonna.
COOPER: I don't know what that means. I'm such a huge Madonna fan. And her show...
GRIFFIN: Don't dis Britney Spears.
COOPER: I'm not dissing Britney at all.
GRIFFIN: Anderson Cooper just dissed Britney Spears.
COOPER: No, I did not. I would like to see her show.
GRIFFIN: OK. All right. So this was the day -- no joke, the day after I did that cameo with the Britney show, this is what I look like. I sent this photo to David Gergen...
COOPER: No, no, no.
GRIFFIN: ... and I said, "Thanks for last night, baby."
COOPER: You sent me -- maybe you did that. But I kid you not, this was during -- I think it was the president's State of the Union or it was some -- some night we had a big panel. I was down...
GRIFFIN: Serious news. I'm Anderson.
COOPER: And in the middle, I checked my, you know...
GRIFFIN: Porn. Grindr.
COOPER: ... texts during commercial break. And I get this picture from you, and you are telling me that...
GRIFFIN: That what?
COOPER: ... that you had hung out with David Gergen, and...
GRIFFIN: That this is what I look like.
COOPER: ... and you wanted to show -- have me to show David Gergen that picture.
GRIFFIN: I know. Did you?
COOPER: No, I didn't.
GRIFFIN: Why?
COOPER: Maybe I did, actually. I can't even remember. Can't even remember.
GRIFFIN: Look, I love that picture. I sent it around to, like, 20 different people, some amazing stories.
Now, have you -- did you send Madonna flowers or anything?
COOPER: No. She's on tour. I mean, where would we send it?
GRIFFIN: You are so cheap. I can't even...
COOPER: What are you...
GRIFFIN: Madonna, I apologize. You should get flowers from Anderson Cooper.
COOPER: You're right. I should have sent some flowers.
GRIFFIN: That's right.
Speaking of tour -- It's so odd you would say that -- I'm on tour myself. Wait, that's my tour cities. I was just saying that coming up we have Jennifer Hudson will be here live. Jennifer Lawrence will be singing a duet with Jennifer Hudson.
COOPER: I'm on tour with Andy Cowen, going to Oakland and San Francisco and Seattle.
GRIFFIN: I hope you go do 70 cities.
COOPER: How do you manage to do 70 cities?
GRIFFIN: Because I stand on stage at the Carnegie Hall, the Sydney Opera House or Tunica, Mississippi, and I do two and a half hours of material I wrote myself. And so here are the tour dates. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Sorry.
COOPER: Why don't we put...
GRIFFIN: These are the tour dates I did just this year. In Richmond, Virginia.
COOPER: Yes. Where did you play?
GRIFFIN: I played -- I don't remember the name of the venue. But before afterwards, Randy and I accidentally went to a biker club diner.
COOPER: Oh, really?
GRIFFIN: So shout-out to the Somerset Biker Club in Somerset, Kentucky.
And then in Charleston, we went to a pizza parlor where the staff was teeth optional, not judging. And in Charenton, Louisiana...
COOPER: Is that the term, by the way, teeth optional? GRIFFIN: Teeth optional is a nice way to put it. A shout-out to the Waffle House. And also in Charenton -- you like the southern food.
COOPER: I do. Dad's from Mississippi.
GRIFFIN: I had the lamb balls (ph).
COOPER: Oh, OK.
GRIFFIN: And then cracklings.
COOPER: The blood sausage. Yes.
GRIFFIN: Yes. Deep-fried pigskin fat. Andouille sausage.
And in Newport, Rhode Island...
COOPER: I'm not even going to ask.
GRIFFIN: What Dewey [SIC] sausage is?
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: Why don't you show me...
COOPER: Let's go.
GRIFFIN: ... your Dewey [SIC] sausage?
COOPER: What's Newport, Rhode Island?
GRIFFIN: What's Newport, Rhode Island? It's a city. Rhode Island.
COOPER: Where did you...
GRIFFIN: I played in Goat Island. They're very possessive. Like, they don't -- they want to be called Goat Island.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: And then in Provincetown...
COOPER: Right.
GRIFFIN: ... where the LGBTQA-23456 Caitlyns go, I -- it was a gay takeover when I went to P-town.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: And it was fantastic.
And I had a homemade pie in Chatham.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: And when I walked in the lady said, "Stop it, you're her." All right. And then, in San Dimas (ph), California, you know what an
ebelskiver is?
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: It's a circular pancake filled with jelly. It's not as good as a Hosier Dewey (ph) sausage.
All right. And in Baraboo, Wisconsin, I played a casino where they had flames and birds coming out, and I thought they were real. And they were lights. But I swear, I was, like, "Birds are dying." And...
COOPER: All right.
GRIFFIN: All right. I just want you to read my upcoming tour dates. Go.
COOPER: Why don't we put these on your -- on a website or something?
GRIFFIN: Oh, my gosh. Queens, New York; Brooklyn, New York; Jacksonville, Florida...
COOPER: All right. We're going to...
GRIFFIN: ... Atlanta, Georgia; Melbourne, Florida.
COOPER: ... take a quick break. And as we take a look at some of the scenes here -- let's actually go to New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: Elmira, New York; Red Bank, New Jersey; Morristown, New Jersey; Tarrytown, New York; Atlanta, Georgia; Las Vegas, Nevada.
COOPER: Don Lemon, Brooke Baldwin standing by in...
GRIFFIN: And Kendrick Lamar...
COOPER: ... in New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: ... live with Adele.
COOPER: They were -- actually -- actually -- Brooke and Don, we got some poll results on whether or not you should take the hot tub.
GRIFFIN: Aren't they in the hot tub?
COOPER: Not yet. Let's take a look at the poll results whether you should take the plunge.
LEMON: Oh, my God.
COOPER: It's a very scientific, important poll. Seventy-six percent of you say yes; 24 percent say no.
GRIFFIN: Seventy-six percent.
COOPER: Oh, well, OK. Don, what's going on?
BALDWIN: Don -- Don really wanted to show off his legs.
LEMON: I'm a little ashy.
GRIFFIN: I'm, like, with Don and that movement.
[22:35:05] BALDWIN: It's -- it's quite warm.
LEMON: So, I don't know.
GRIFFIN: Nice spandex. Did you pack those?
LEMON: We may go all the way. Everyone's been telling me...
GRIFFIN: Do you go everywhere with spandex?
LEMON: ... not to do it. But I think we should.
BALDWIN: Oh, you wanted to.
GRIFFIN: It looks like everyone else is doing it anyway.
LEMON: Come on, let's do it.
I'm wearing a jacket. I'm not going to do it.
BALDWIN: You are naughty.
LEMON: I know. We should do it. Kathy, if you can walk through Times Square...
GRIFFIN: I would do it so bad.
LEMON: ... half naked in your skivvies, I think I can get in the hot tub.
GRIFFIN: That's right. Yes.
LEON: Get in the hot tub.
GRIFFIN: Absolutely.
BALDWIN: In her skivvies in the hot tub.
LEMON: Yes. Anderson, join us.
BALDWIN: Which may happen later. I've lost count on this situation.
LEMON: Those would have to be some big (UNINTELLIGIBLE). I saw those.
COOPER: Guys, explain where you are. Because you're at Tipitina's, right?
LEMON: We're at Tipitina's, which is on Napoleon and Tchoupitoulas. It's uptown. And we're actually at the Tchoup House right next door.
BALDWIN: Outside at Tipitina's.
And later on tonight we're here for Galactic. These guys are here from Los Angeles...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: From Los Angeles, California.
BALDWIN: ... also for Galactic.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Exactly.
BALDWIN: What do you think of New Orleans?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think it's the most exciting city in the world, but I think you need to get in this hot tub. I don't want to call you out right now, but Brooke, if you don't get in, I'm going to put my head under water until you agree to come in. I think a hunger strike is going to end much faster. I'm going in.
LEMON: And this guy says that he's -- he would be Anderson's hall pass.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, oh, yes! Oh, my God!
GRIFFIN: It's so not even near midnight.
LEMON: Is this really happening?
BALDWIN: He's in the hot tub!
LEMON: Get up. Get up.
BALDWIN: The disco...
LEMON: Oh, my gosh.
Anderson, you -- this is New Orleans. You know anything can happen in New Orleans.
BALDWIN: Let me marinate on it.
LEMON: I'm going to be next. I don't want to mess up my velvet jacket, though.
BALDWIN: It's all you, brother.
LEMON: Give me a minute.
And plus, it's cold out here. Shrinkage.
BALDWIN: I don't know if velvet goes with hot tub, though.
LEMON: Anyways.
GRIFFIN: I can listen to Don Lemon talk about shrinkage all night long.
LEMON: Wow.
BALDWIN: New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: I'll be here all night.
LEMON: We'll be in the hot tub. It strikes midnight we'll be in the hot tub. All of it.
COOPER: All right. And they're going to be bringing in the New Year's at Central Time.
GRIFFIN: That was, like, an almost twisted baptism. I mean, a guy went head in.
COOPER: He went all the way in.
GRIFFIN: And the bro who thought he was going to talk Don and Brooke into going in just put his head in first. I didn't know if it was a cry for help or what. But I mean, he went down, and he was in full sequins.
COOPER: Have you played New Orleans?
GRIFFIN: Yes. I played New Orleans many times.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: Now you want to hear what cities I'm doing...
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: ... on my 80-city like a boss tour. Go to see "Kathy Griffin Live." Ft. Lauderdale, Ft. Myers, anything named Fort. Clearwater...
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: What about you joining the Church of Scientology?
COOPER: That's not true.
GRIFFIN: Anderson Cooper joined the Church of Scientology.
COOPER: That's not true. She's making this stuff up.
GRIFFIN: He's, like, one of those grand wizards or whatever.
COOPER: I don't know what that means.
GRIFFIN: And also...
COOPER: And look, it's Ryan Seacrest over there. He's on the stage. Look.
GRIFFIN: Where is he?
COOPER: He's right there. He's standing up.
GRIFFIN: Can I flip him off or will I get blurred?
COOPER: No. Yes, you will. No, don't.
GRIFFIN: I can't? Why?
COOPER: No, no. Don't do that.
GRIFFIN: Come on. We do it.
COOPER: He's ignoring you, though.
GRIFFIN: Seacrest, you're a fraud! You're a fraud, Seacrest! Give the money back! Hillary Clinton isn't a Republican!
COOPER: Hey.
GRIFFIN: Ryan!
Sorry. I was just settling a couple scores.
COOPER: He's in the zone right now. He's very much...
GRIFFIN: I'm sorry, did you -- hold on, hold the card. Did you just have the nerve to say Ryan Seacrest is in the zone?
COOPER: I was kidding.
GRIFFIN: You know what? You sound like Brian Dunkleman right now.
COOPER: Who?
GRIFFIN: Oh, boy.
Boo, boo! You suck!
COOPER: All right. She's trying to -- he's trying to distract Ryan Seacrest.
GRIFFIN: Poor Ryan Seacrest. He could buy and sell you a hundred times over. He has a fragrance.
COOPER: He really has a fragrance?
GRIFFIN: It's called Demon. It's at Macy's. And what happens is you put it on and turn into the devil.
COOPER: Does he really have a fragrance?
GRIFFIN: No. He wants one, though. It's in our joke with him. I can tell him, like get the fragrance. Yes.
What would your fragrance be called? COOPER: Vanilla.
GRIFFIN: Shame.
COOPER: Shame?
GRIFFIN: I'll have a bottle of Shame again.
COOPER: Let's check in with Randi Kaye, who's...
GRIFFIN: I like how Randi Kaye is your safety blanket. It so should be Poppy, because she's more maternal. Randi's hammered.
COOPER: I'm worried what you're going to say to Poppy next.
GRIFFIN: I want to give birth to Poppy's baby.
COOPER: I don't know what that...
GRIFFIN: And Randi Kaye is wasted. That sip was the longest sip of booze I have ever seen. And my mother, Maggie Griffin, who Anderson called right before the broadcast...
COOPER: We want to say hi to Maggie, who is in Los Angeles.
GRIFFIN: Hello, Maggie, hi.
COOPER: And so let's check in with Randi.
GRIFFIN: All right. Fine. Good luck.
COOPER: Randi's on...
GRIFFIN: She passed out.
COOPER: She's basically bar hopping on Field Street in the great...
[22:40:03] GRIFFIN: She's on a pub crawl.
COOPER: A pub crawl, in Memphis. Randi, how's it going?
KAYE: It's going pretty well. We're continuing the pub crawl or the bar hop, whatever you want to call it, and no, Kathy, I am not passed out yet. But I am here with Tiffany who is a bartender here at Wet Willie's. You've been here for, what, four years?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, about four years.
KAYE: And you have quite a party going on here tonight.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, yes. We always have a party.
KAYE: If you take a look out in the crowd, if you could just pan out there. Woo, yes, yes, see everybody.
All right, so, now this is a really big deal. Because we're going to make a couple of drinks here. So we're going the grab a cup. OK. And you're going to tell me -- these -- I'm told that the drinks here are stupid strong.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: They are very strong. Very, very strong.
KAYE: You hold the microphone for me. And tell me what we're putting in here.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: First we're going to start with Shot Treatment. All right. That's enough. And then we're going to move down to the Monster Melon.
KAYE: Monster Melon.
This is like -- this is so cool how you guys have it set up. I've got to say.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK. And now we're going to move down to the strawberry.
KAYE: And do I get to drink this when we're done?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Of course. You can get a little more.
KAYE: A little more? Strawberry. OK. These are all lined up?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And then mango.
KAYE: To mango. All right.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And this is real mangos and rum.
KAYE: Really? A little more?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
KAYE: Is this a popular New Year's drink?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It is. It's called the Skittle. It's designed -- it's fruity.
KAYE: And sour apple?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And some sour apple.
KAYE: Is that it?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes. You can go ahead.
KAYE: OK. All right. Here we go. This is a Skittle. Look how pretty that is. I love it. I don't want a straw, because it goes down faster. That is nice. That is really nice.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It's one of our most popular.
KAYE: OK. So there's one more. You hold this. UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: OK.
KAYE: This is one thing on the wall here that I have to try, OK? It's called Call a Cab.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
KAYE: All right? So grab a glass for me if you would. Now, Call a Cab, what is in Call a Cab?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Call a Cab is a cherry flavor, and it's made with 190 grain alcohol and rum.
KAYE: Wait. Say that again?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Call a Cab is a cherry flavor, and it's made with 190 grain alcohol and rum. As much of it as will freeze.
KAYE: Oh, my gosh.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
KAYE: Whoa. Kathy, you would like this one. This would put you on the floor in a minute. So we're going to keep making drinks here. They're putting me to work here at Wet Willie's. You can see we have a whole option, a whole wall of drinks. My kind of place, for sure.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes.
KAYE: Happy new year, everybody.
COOPER: All right. All right, Randi Kaye continuing her...
GRIFFIN: I just can't believe you guys booked a cocktail waitress for tonight. I mean, that is like -- the Golden Globes got nothing on us. Randi Kaye is just drinking on the job.
COOPER: So we put together a little -- you know, people don't maybe know that you don't drink.
GRIFFIN: I have never had a drink in my life.
COOPER: You never had a drink in your life?
GRIFFIN: Correct.
COOPER: That's great. That's cool.
GRIFFIN: I don't think I should have to loosen up any more.
COOPER: OK. Talking a little -- you fancy yourself an entertainment expert, I think.
GRIFFIN: Just speak English. Don't say things like, "Do you fancy yourself?"
COOPER: I said you do fancy yourself.
GRIFFIN: Yes. I have two Emmys, a Grammy. I'm in the Guinness Book of World Records.
COOPER: All right. I'm going to do a little multiple choice entertainment quiz. You can play along at home.
GRIFFIN: All right.
COOPER: Every time Kathy gets something wrong, if you want, have a sip of something.
GRIFFIN: It's a drinking game.
COOPER: If you want it to be.
GRIFFIN: Mom, this is for you. I love you.
COOPER: All right. I'm not encouraging that sort of thing. But No. 1, who is responsible for announcing the wrong winner of the Miss Universe Pageant?
GRIFFIN: Steve Harvey.
COOPER: That is correct. Actually, it's wrong. It was Steve Harvey's mustache.
GRIFFIN: Ouch.
I like when he also tweeted apologies to the Philippians.
COOPER: Yes, he did that after.
GRIFFIN: That was awesome.
COOPER: I like Steve Harvey.
GRIFFIN: Yes, he's very funny, but...
COOPER: Really funny guy. And I'm also really happy for all his success. He's doing, like...
GRIFFIN: He's a hard worker. He's a road comic. He's a real comic.
COOPER: He is working around the clock.
GRIFFIN: Radio, yes, yes.
COOPER: Radio, "Family Feud." His syndicated -- I'm a big fan. I think he's great.
No. 2, what was the name of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's blockbuster Christmas movie? A, "Siblings"; B, "Sisters," or C, "Suddenly Susan"?
GRIFFIN: "Sisters." Amy Poehler.
COOPER: That's correct.
GRIFFIN: "Suddenly Susan" was a breakaway hit in the '90s with Kathy Griffin.
COOPER: James -- No. 3, James Franco has announced -- and I swear this is true -- that he will produce a remake of what classic Lifetime movie? Is it: A, "The Husband She Met Online..."
GRIFFIN: It's "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?" I know everything about Lifetime.
COOPER: OK. You're right. It is "Mother, May I Sleep with Danger," originally starring?
GRIFFIN: Tori Spelling. Duh.
All right, and by the way, just for the ladies. I know this is CNN. Sorry, I know this is CNN, but the good news is tomorrow, I think Lifetime is resuming shows on how to kill your husband. So it's just basically an informative channel.
COOPER: Snapped. Have you ever see that...
GRIFFIN: First of all, those women are misunderstood. So "Snapped," "Who the Bleep Did I Marry?," "I can't Believe I Killed Him." Those are just stories. And the therapist who talks to the women and they don't show them from here down, because they're in jump suits?
COOPER: Have you ever seen the show...
GRIFFIN: She's always like, "And were you mad at them?"
COOPER: Have you ever seen the show -- I don't know if it's still on, on Animal Planet, "The Monster Inside Me"?
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: All about people who have, like, weird organisms inside them.
GRIFFIN: I can't believe that. I think that has happened to you. I don't know what's inside you yet, but I know there's a monster.
[22:45:-6] COOPER: No. 4, OK, a Lifetime movie. I'm going to read you the name and description of a movie. You have to tell me whether it's a real Lifetime movie that you can buy on Amazon.
GRIFFIN: OK.
COOPER: Or if I'm making it up.
GRIFFIN: Do we have a deal with Amazon about -- about our...
COOPER: No.
GRIFFIN: OK. COOPER: "Murder of Innocence." Valerie Bertinelli stars as a happy newlywed who soon finds her life shattered by her deep-rooted psychotic behavior?
GRIFFIN: True.
COOPER: That is true. Correct. "Prophet of Evil." Brian Dennehy is a leader of a fanatical religious group.
GRIFFIN: Not true.
COOPER: That is real.
GRIFFIN: That's a real one?
COOPER: That's a real one.
GRIFFIN: I missed it?
COOPER: "Darkness Before Dawn." Meredith Baxter works as a single mother working as a nurse. She doesn't seem to bear the scars of her troubled childhood, or so it seems.
GRIFFIN: Not true.
COOPER: That is real.
GRIFFIN: It's a real one?
COOPER: That is real, yes.
GRIFFIN: How did I miss one Meredith Baxter Lifetime movie? Where have I been?
COOPER: I don't know. "Thompson's Last Run." Wilfred Brimley stars...
GRIFFIN: OK. That is not real.
COOPER: ... as Haynes and Robert Mitchum as Thompson, two childhood friends, who chose different ways of life .
GRIFFIN: By the way, that is the CNN demo right there.
COOPER: By the way...
GRIFFIN: Wilfred Brimley.
COOPER: By the way, that is real.
GRIFFIN: It is? Why didn't you call me?
COOPER: And "Doing Life." Tony Danza stars as the world's first convict turned attorney.
GRIFFIN: Yes, real. COOPER: That is real.
GRIFFIN: So there was only one that wasn't real. I'm going to watch the ones I haven't seen. Trust me.
COOPER: In fact, they were all real.
GRIFFIN: All right.
COOPER: They were all real. Yes. There you go.
GRIFFIN: All right. So let me see if I can stump you on stuff, because you're newsy.
COOPER: All right.
GRIFFIN: All right. Paul Ryan became speaker of the House after the resignation of John Boehner in September. Who was the early favorite to take up the speaker's gavel?
COOPER: I'm not being quizzed. We do this every year.
GRIFFIN: This is so basic.
COOPER: I know, but every year...
GRIFFIN: Dana Bash could do this in her sleep.
COOPER: Every year we go through this. You try to trip me up. You try to make me look bad. I'm not -- I'm just not -- as a rule, I'm not doing the quizzes.
GRIFFIN: All right. You can ask me. Go ahead. Take the answer away. I'm going to know this in my sleep, because I watch more CNN than you do. You know that's true. I do. I watch CNN more than he does.
COOPER: Yes, of course, this, but -- we can't do we can do one you haven't seen.
GRIFFIN: All right. So Paul Ryan didn't want the job. At first they wanted Kevin McCarthy, who's the representative from California to take the job.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: And he was so misspoken that he had to say, "I was misspoken." And John Boehner was like, "Zippity doo-dah, Zippity day."
And then Ryan took it with all these conditions, and now the Tea Party is upset that they have another brainer (ph). Yes.
COOPER: How much CNN do you watch?
GRIFFIN: I watch a ridiculous amount. COOPER: Every time I've seen you, any time...
GRIFFIN: I know the slate better than anybody here.
COOPER: Any time I've been in a hotel room with you or...
GRIFFIN: I love CNN.
COOPER: ... any time I've been with you, you were watching.
GRIFFIN: I watch CNN and MSNBC.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: And Rachel Maddow sent my mom a card. And I know that you guys are turning into each other a little bit.
COOPER: I don't know how that's possible.
GRIFFIN: You told me that those are your Rachel Maddow glasses. You referred to them as Rachel Maddow glasses.
COOPER: Everybody has these glasses now.
GRIFFIN: But you and Rachel really share those glasses.
COOPER: You know, she's a big ecologist (ph) now.
GRIFFIN: She's also gayer than you, I think.
COOPER: I don't know what...
GRIFFIN: She is like a better gay person.
COOPER: I don't know what that means.
GRIFFIN: Call GLAAD.
COOPER: We're going to take...
GRIFFIN: I feel like I have (ph) an achievement award.
COOPER: We're going to take you back...
GRIFFIN: Let's have a Twitter, like, who's a better gay person? I'm going to go with Rachel Maddow. She gardens.
COOPER: We're going to take -- What does that mean? We're going to take you back to Hershey...
GRIFFIN: She does it all.
COOPER: We're going back to Hershey, Pennsylvania, where they raise a Hershey's kiss to bring in the new year.
GRIFFIN: I think I have a show in Hershey, Pennsylvania. COOPER: Gary Tuchman and his daughter Lindsay are there once again.
GRIFFIN: You have, like, made mincemeat out of this question you didn't know.
COOPER: Wow. Look at that kiss. Take a look. Aerial shot from the top of Marriott Marquee in Times Square. Thanks, as always, to the people that made that possible, as we go to break.
GRIFFIN: How do you not know Kevin McCarthy?
COOPER: I do know Kevin McCarthy. I just don't want to play this quiz. It's too stressful. A look at how London celebrates...
GRIFFIN: Are you fighting with me?
COOPER: Yes, I'm fighting with you.
GRIFFIN: Oh, my gosh.
COOPER: Take a look at London celebrating the start of...
GRIFFIN: I will call Carol Costello so fast. You have no idea. Carol. Carol Costello.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(MUSIC)
[22:53:25] COOPER: And that is one of my favorite places in New Orleans, the legendary Spotted Cat on Frenchmen Street. And where the New Orleans Jazz Vipers play. A lot of great bands play there.
GRIFFIN: You have a love affair with NOLA.
COOPER: I love New Orleans. It's one of the great cities in the world, and it's really bounced back. More restaurants open than before Katrina. It's just -- it's an amazing, amazing city. And I'm so happy, and I think it's going to be a great year for New Orleans.
GRIFFIN: Sounds like it's time for another quiz.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: All right. International politics, stump Anderson. So this is fun. This is either ambassador to the U.N. or a "Star Wars: Force Awakens" character. Did you see it?
COOPER: I haven't seen it yet.
GRIFFIN: J.J., I'm so sorry.
COOPER: I've been on vacation. I want to but -- I'm going to.
GRIFFIN: Oh, my gosh. J.J. J.J. Abrams was my Groundlings student when I used to teach there. COOPER: Was he really?
GRIFFIN: Yes.
COOPER: Well, that's cool.
GRIFFIN: We double dated one time with (UNINTELLIGIBLE).
COOPER: It's amazing. I'm dying to see that. I want to see "The Revenant."
GRIFFIN: Now the franchise is going to -- "Revenant" is great. Now the franchise is going to fail. Yes.
COOPER: What, do you get screeners?
GRIFFIN: Yes. I'm famous. I get screeners.
COOPER: I don't get screeners.
GRIFFIN: OK. U.N. ambassador or "Star Wars" character.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: Lors San Chekhov (ph).
COOPER: U.N. ambassador.
GRIFFIN: "Star Wars."
Ferit Hoxha.
COOPER: "Star Wars."
GRIFFIN: Albania.
Maz Kanata.
COOPER: U.N.
GRIFFIN: "Star Wars."
Ion Jinga.
COOPER: U.N.
GRIFFIN: Romania. Correct.
Kyaw Tin.
COOPER: The U.N.
GRIFFIN: Myanmar.
COOPER: OK.
GRIFFIN: Caleb Otto.
COOPER: Formerly Burma, by the way.
GRIFFIN: Correct. Former Burma.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: Or Myanmar, or Rangoon. Although I'll go Rangoon if you want.
COOPER: No. Formerly the capital, actually. But they made a new capital.
GRIFFIN: That is a city.
COOPER: Yes.
GRIFFIN: What is the lady who's under house arrest? I love her.
COOPER: She's not under house arrest. She just won election there.
GRIFFIN: But is she out of the house now?
COOPER: Aung San Suu Kyi.
[22:55:09] GRIFFIN: That's my idol. I love her.
COOPER: She's been out of house arrest for a long time.
GRIFFIN: She's great. You should have her as a guest.
COOPER: You love her so much you don't even know who she is.
GRIFFIN: I love her so much she's my hall pass.
All right. Caleb Otto.
COOPER: U.N.
GRIFFIN: Palau. Palau?
COOPER: Palau. I went to Palau. I went diving. I just did a "60 Minutes" story over there.
GRIFFIN: With a Baraboo?
COOPER: It's one of the best dive spots. And during World War II...
GRIFFIN: You're like a secret diver lover. You love to dive and swim.
COOPER: But during World War II, a lot of -- the Japanese occupied the island, and a lot of the American planes were shot down over Palau.
GRIFFIN: Lighten it up. New Year's. Lighten it up. COOPER: No, I'm just saying, I happen to know a lot about Palau.
GRIFFIN: All right.
COOPER: All right. Go ahead.
GRIFFIN: Samantha Power.
COOPER: Of course. U.N., American.
GRIFFIN: That one was, like, a throwaway. Like, how dare you?
Oh, wait. You haven't mentioned going to Yale yet. Tick-tock, someone needs to mention how he went to Yale. Remember the old days? You did it in the first five minutes.
All right. These are good. Now just for general questions, what is the minimum wage in New York?
COOPER: I don't know what it is in New York. You are so evil.
GRIFFIN: You don't know what the minimum wage is?
COOPER: Nor did you until now. What is it? What's the minimum wage now, $7.25? What?
GRIFFIN: As of today it turned to $9 an hour.
COOPER: OK. What was it previously?
GRIFFIN: $8.75.
COOPER: All right. I was wrong.
GRIFFIN: That's right. That's the point of this whole game.
All right. What is the price of a dozen large eggs?
COOPER: I don't know. I don't eat eggs.
GRIFFIN: You what?
COOPER: I don't eat eggs.
GRIFFIN: No, let's -- We can do better than that.
COOPER: I don't what eggs. I don't.
GRIFFIN: A lot of people don't eat eggs.
COOPER: I don't eat eggs.
GRIFFIN: But they know the price.
COOPER: I don't eat eggs. I don't drink milk. I don't know. I really don't know. GRIFFIN: What do you think? A thousand dollars? Five thousand? Is that what Mommy taught you? When you looked at Bergdorf Goodman as a child? Is it $2,000?
COOPER: You're awful. I mean...
GRIFFIN: You guys, tweet how much Anderson thinks a dozen eggs are. It's going to be more than $1,000, and he would happily pay it, trust me.
All right. What is the price of a postage stamp?
COOPER: We're going to take a break.
GRIFFIN: A postage stamp?
COOPER: When was the last time you sent a -- I don't know. I don't know.
GRIFFIN: You're going to send Madonna a card with a postage stamp that's 49 cents.
COOPER: We're going to take a short break.
GRIFFIN: Saying "I'm sorry I wasn't a better dancer."
COOPER: We're heading toward the top of the hour. We'll be right back.
GRIFFIN: "And eggs are $5,000. Love, Anderson."
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
