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State of the Union
Interview With Sen. Mark Kelly (D-AZ); Interview With Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT); Interview With Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC). Aired 9-10a ET
Aired June 21, 2026 - 09:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
[09:00:00]
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
[09:00:54]
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
JAKE TAPPER, CNN HOST (voice-over): Breaking the cycle. He was an astronaut, now a senator. But, on this Father's Day, Mark Kelly is ready to talk about one of the biggest challenges he had to overcome, a father who was alcoholic and abusive.
SEN. MARK KELLY (D-AZ): He was a violent guy.
TAPPER: How those early years shaped the man he became and why he was determined to be different.
M. KELLY: Oh, I totally was not going to be my dad.
TAPPER: Senator Mark Kelly next.
And a father's footsteps. Mitt Romney ran for the nation's highest office, but his father's example kept him humble.
FMR. SEN. MITT ROMNEY (R-UT): I don't measure up to what he was.
TAPPER: What he learned from his father and the values he passed on to his own children.
M. ROMNEY: I thought it was important for each of my boys to be comfortable being different.
TAPPER: Former Senator Mitt Romney ahead.
Plus: keeping faith. From a childhood without his father to embracing late in life fatherhood himself, Senator Tim Scott reflects on how absence shaped his presence as a dad.
SEN. TIM SCOTT (R-SC): Do not let your dad's absence be an excuse for doing something that you will later regret.
TAPPER: Senator Tim Scott coming up.
(END VIDEOTAPE) TAPPER: Hello, and welcome to STATE OF THE UNION. I'm Jake Tapper in Holladay, Utah.
Today, we're going to try something different. We're going to take a step away from the daily churn of news and focus on an issue that's important, if not vital, but often underdiscussed, fatherhood.
Fatherhood is at the forefront of the psychologies of our presidents, whether the abusive stepfather of Bill Clinton or the father whose example he tried to follow of George W. Bush, the completely absent father of Barack Obama, the tough father of Donald Trump. For Joe Biden, whether to the two children he lost or the children he has who struggle, that's at the very heart and soul of who Joe Biden is.
But fatherhood in the United States is in a crisis. The Moynihan Report, which came out in 1965 by future Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan, said that fatherlessness in the black community was more of a threat to progress than over racism.
At the time, fatherlessness in the black community was roughly 24 percent. That's the national average roughly now. And it's much higher in the black community and the Latino community.
Today, we're going to discuss fatherhood with three men whose faces you know.
We're going to start with Democratic Senator Mark Kelly of Arizona.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
TAPPER (voice-over): Navy pilot, astronaut and Democratic Senator Mark Kelly and his twin brother, Scott, were raised in New Jersey by Richard and Patricia Kelly, both West Orange, New Jersey, police officers.
From the outside, it looked like a normal childhood. In the inside, it could be hell.
(on camera): Your dad served in the 82nd Airborne and then was a police officer. What kind of dad was he?
KELLY: He was, like, a really complex figure in my life and my brother's life. And he would drink way too much. And he'd get in fights with my mother, or they sometimes would get rather violent.
TAPPER: Physical.
M. KELLY: Oh, yes, yes, physical. It seemed like a -- by a certain age, maybe by the time I was like 8 or 9, it was like a common -- common thing, with my brother and I being woken up in the middle of the night.
I remember being hit, not significantly. But my dad at times was violent with my mom. I remember that.
TAPPER: Like how? M. KELLY: Yes, he would -- in the middle of the night, I'd hear them
fighting. And things would be thrown. And she would get hurt.
I remember him dragging her once across the floor, typical violent behavior by alcoholics, right?
TAPPER: How old were you when you were seeing this?
M. KELLY: I'd say probably between the age of maybe 8 or 9, up until the time we were probably 13, 14, around then.
TAPPER: What does that do to an 8-year-old to see his dad beating his mom?
M. KELLY: Well, first of all, you think it's -- you kind of, like, normalize it. You, like, think, like, other people have this same problem. And later you realize that that's not the case. I mean, I saw him pull out his gun, like in a fight with my mother.
[09:05:14]
TAPPER: He pulled out his gun?
M. KELLY: A couple of times, oh, yes. I mean, he...
TAPPER: Pointed it at her?
M. KELLY: I mean, he pointed it at himself.
TAPPER: He pointed it at himself?
M. KELLY: Yes. Yes. Yes.
TAPPER: Like to his head?
M. KELLY: Pretty much.
TAPPER: Or in his mouth or...
M. KELLY: Yes.
TAPPER: In his mouth.
M. KELLY: Yes, yes, yes. Yes, I saw that, I was probably 8 or 9 years old. And...
TAPPER: This is like in the living room?
M. KELLY: In our dining room.
TAPPER: They're fighting and he takes out his gun and puts it in his mouth?
M. KELLY: Yes.
TAPPER: What -- I mean, what -- I can't even imagine that. What -- did you cry? What was your reaction?
M. KELLY: Oh, yes, I mean...
TAPPER: That's terrifying.
M. KELLY: I'm like -- it's terrifying. And I remember thinking, I wasn't so much worried about my own safety. I was scared about losing my dad.
That's the thing that you're like. The immediate, when you see this, is like, OK, am I like a second away from my dad being dead? And, like, what do you do about it at the time?
And I remember my brother and I saying -- I don't remember what I said, but trying to stop him from doing this.
TAPPER: Oh, that's heartbreaking.
M. KELLY: I remember also maybe he ripped the phone out of the wall or we couldn't use the phone. My mom sends me to run to my grandparents' house.
TAPPER: How far were they? How far were they?
M. KELLY: Two, three miles and like 3:00 in the morning. Like, I'm barefoot.
TAPPER: And you're running barefoot two or three miles to your grandparents'?
M. KELLY: Yes, like, I'm probably like 8 or 9, 10 years old.
TAPPER: To her parents?
M. KELLY: To his parents...
TAPPER: To his parents, to do what?
M. KELLY: ... who were the -- that was the -- his parents were like the sanctuary. That was the place we went. That was where we would spend the night.
TAPPER: You would run there to sleep? You would run there to get...
(CROSSTALK)
M. KELLY: No, to come -- to have my grandfather come and get my -- this only happened one time that I remember, to get my mom and my brother.
TAPPER: Oh.
M. KELLY: Yes, like she would send -- I don't know. Maybe I was -- because I was six minutes older. I was assigned the duty to run to my grandparents' house.
TAPPER: Do you remember running? Like, do you remember...
M. KELLY: Oh, yes. I remember running with like no shirt and shorts and no shoes at 3:00 in the morning down Pleasant Valley Way all the way to my -- where my grandparents lived, which is -- just felt like to me to be -- it might as well have been 10 miles away. It was, I think -- I took a look at it once. I think it was two or three miles away.
TAPPER: And were you -- you were running to save your brother and your mom?
M. KELLY: Yes, to get help.
TAPPER: Because he might hurt them?
M. KELLY: Yes. I mean, he was a violent...
TAPPER: He was...
(CROSSTALK)
TAPPER: Yes.
M. KELLY: Yes, he was a violent guy.
TAPPER (voice-over): His behavior put the boys in danger.
M. KELLY: He'd be drunk and we'd be in the car swerving.
But I remember driving down Mount Pleasant Avenue and him almost, like, wrapping the car around a tree.
TAPPER (on camera): Like -- like frightening stuff?
M. KELLY: Oh, yes.
TAPPER (voice-over): Then, when Mark Kelly was about 15, his father got drunk and crashed a police car and finally entered rehab.
M. KELLY: He went away for months. At that point, I didn't talk to him for basically a year.
TAPPER (on camera): Really?
M. KELLY: Like, I would refuse to have a conversation with him.
TAPPER: Because of the DUI or just everything?
M. KELLY: Just the whole thing. Then he disappeared. He was still my dad. And now he was gone for what felt like two or three months.
TAPPER: Did he ever apologize? Did you ever have like a conversation?
M. KELLY: Oh, yes.
TAPPER: He did? M. KELLY: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
TAPPER: What did he say?
M. KELLY: It was like when he was out of rehab, you know, just...
TAPPER: Oh, early?
M. KELLY: Yes, like afterwards.
TAPPER: What did he say?
M. KELLY: He was going through the 12 steps.
TAPPER: Oh, the 12 steps.
M. KELLY: I don't know if he got through all of them.
TAPPER: Right.
M. KELLY: I mean, I was 16. This was -- you're talking about 40- something years ago.
TAPPER: But forgiveness is one of them, I think, right? That's one of them.
M. KELLY: Yes, one of them.
TAPPER: Yes.
M. KELLY: It might be the last one.
TAPPER: And what did he say?
M. KELLY: I just remember him just saying he's sorry for the things that he did in the past, that he was going to try to do better. And he did. It wasn't perfect.
But he was -- I remember -- after that, I don't remember him being abusive like in the same way.
TAPPER: One of the things about you that -- I have known you now for a little while and I have covered you and interviewed you for a while. And it doesn't -- you never -- to me, at least, you never seem to betray any self-pity.
You never -- like, you have been through a lot. What you went through in your childhood, that's a lot. What you and Gabby have been through is a lot. You never -- there's never any woe is me. There's never any poor me.
And I wonder -- part of that, I'm sure, is military. Part of that, I'm sure, is perseverance that you learned from your father and your mother. I also wonder if your father putting a gun in his mouth is like the ultimate self-pitying action. Like, I'm going to kill myself. That's what you're making me do is feel so bad about myself, I'm going to kill myself.
It's -- I don't want to judge it harshly because obviously it's alcoholism, it's mental illness, it's abuse. But do you think there's anything there in terms of like, I'm not going to be that?
[09:10:04]
M. KELLY: Oh, I totally was not going to be my dad.
TAPPER: No, but also I'm not going to feel pity for myself?
M. KELLY: Exactly, 100 percent.
And my dad also was often the woe is me guy. That was the case. There were a lot of things my parents did that, very early on, I was like, that is not going to be me. I mean, I remember -- I don't know if your parents were smokers or not.
TAPPER: No.
M. KELLY: But that we'd -- they'd drive around in the middle of winter with the windows rolled up in the car, smoke, both of them puffing away on the cigarettes. My brother and I are in the back seat yelling: "We can't breathe. Please open the window. We can't breathe."
So I always knew, as a adult, I'm not going to be a smoker. I'm not going to do that to my kids, because of the horrible experience. And my dad was a guy that, yes, I thought that sometimes the world was against him.
TAPPER: How old were you when you had the realization that what you and Scott had been subjected to as children was not acceptable?
M. KELLY: I would say I was probably in my 30s, when I had kids, and when I started thinking about being a parent myself.
And I think this is -- my sense is, a lot of parents do this. They figure out what they didn't like in their own parents and they try not to do those things. And I'd say that's the time when I really started to think, man, this is kind of messed up.
TAPPER: Yes.
M. KELLY: Yes. You know, the...
TAPPER: You have a daughter who's 8 years old and you're like, that's how old I was when my dad put a gun in his mouth.
M. KELLY: Yes. Yes. Yes. So I very rarely would even yell at my kids. It was very uncommon that I would get angry with them.
TAPPER (voice-over): These days, when Kelly is not in the Senate, he enjoys being a grandfather to 5-year-old Sage, with another granddaughter on the way.
M. KELLY: She has -- obviously has no idea what the U.S. Senate is. TAPPER (on camera): U.S. Senate, yes.
(CROSSTALK)
TAPPER: That's OK. Some of your colleagues don't know either.
M. KELLY: That's right.
(LAUGHTER)
TAPPER: Do you know what Skipper does for his job?
SAGE, GRANDDAUGHTER OF MARK KELLY: Oh, goes to space.
M. KELLY: Do you know where space is? Like, if you were to point, where is it? Straight up?
(LAUGHTER)
TAPPER (voice-over): Growing up, Kelly's daughter Claudia says her Father's Day job as an astronaut was not always easy on her.
(on camera): Were you scared when he would go into space? Were you afraid?
CLAUDIA KELLY, DAUGHTER OF MARK KELLY: At first, no. I mean, my -- his first launch, I was 6 years old. And I think, at 6, it was my sense of normalcy. But it wasn't until Colombia accident that I realized that it was really dangerous.
That was the first time that I -- I remember really begging my dad to quit his job.
TAPPER: And what is it like to have your daughters begging you to stop being an astronaut?
M. KELLY: It's -- I mean, it's obviously not ideal. It's a career you work so hard for, for a long period of time. So now you got to try to explain to them that this doesn't happen all the time, it doesn't happen often. It is dangerous. It's -- you're taking a lot of risk.
And you try to talk to like an 8-year-old about something that's so complicated.
C. KELLY: I think that -- that was an extremely difficult experience. But most of my, like, childhood and remembering my dad was just being very proud, and, as I got older, understanding, like, that this was a big deal.
TAPPER (voice-over): One thing Kelly's daughters didn't worry about growing up, their father's relationship with his dad. Kelly kept that private.
(on camera): Can I ask you about your grandfather?
C. KELLY: Yes. TAPPER: What was he like as a grandfather?
C. KELLY: As a grandfather, he was very warm.
TAPPER: Yes.
C. KELLY: I -- yes, we had a good relationship with him. Like, I have a relationship with these people for my whole life. But I think that -- it made me think a lot about the parent that my dad is and how it was a little unfathomable to me that that was how -- that was the dad that my dad had.
And the dad that I have is -- like, I don't remember ever being yelled at as a kid. Like, I can't imagine my dad going through that, but -- as a small kid.
TAPPER: But he hasn't even talked about it that much with you, has he?
C. KELLY: No, this is the first time that I have really heard him talk about it. That was not the house that I grew up in. And as a parent now, and with a small kid, I really just think of my dad as a cycle-breaker.
TAPPER (voice-over): That's a lesson Kelly says he learned because of his difficult childhood.
(on camera): How do you think it affected you, other than in the good way of I am not going to be that kind of father?
M. KELLY: I think it -- I think my dad, with all the bad qualities he had and the good qualities he had, I think what I got out of it was some amount of resilience to chaos, to like how crazy life could get.
[09:15:18]
Like, I wasn't going to be him.
TAPPER: Right.
M. KELLY: Right? I wanted to be different. I wanted to be better. I wanted to be a better dad to my kids than my dad was to me.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
TAPPER: We will be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
TAPPER: Welcome back to a special Father's Day edition of STATE OF THE UNION.
I don't think I know anyone who admires, if not idolizes, his father more than Senator Mitt Romney.
[09:20:04] Here's our conversation.
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
TAPPER: I wanted to talk to you because I don't know anybody else in the world who has the reverence for their father that you do for yours. I mean, you have used the word idolized when talking about him.
M. ROMNEY: Well, he was, you know, my best friend growing up besides my mom. I grew to respect him enormously in part because he grew up poor, very poor. He lived in government housing early in his life.
When he's 5, 6, 7 years old, his dad went bankrupt a number of times. My dad never completed college, and yet he went on to become the CEO of a major car corporation, governor three times, member of the president's cabinet. Extraordinary.
A man without guile. He was never trying to shade things or to live differently in one setting than he did in another. I mean, I look at him and he is my role model.
I would hope -- I would aspire to be more like him. I'm not as great as he was, but he continues to be the model that I seek after.
TAPPER: The political journalist Theodore White once said about your dad that he was so sincere, it was almost embarrassing. Like he was just so honest about who he was. Is that a fair description?
M. ROMNEY: There's no question. I mean, dad believed overwhelmingly in anything that he was part of. When he ran for office, he felt very deeply about ways he could help the people of his state. You get into public service if you want to do something.
There's some people today who get into public service because they want to be something. They want to be -- I want to be a senator, I want to be a governor. That's very sad.
And if you got a purpose, that's the reason to get into politics. And I saw that with him.
TAPPER: I know you guys would also, in a friendly way, debate, argue. What would you guys debate?
M. ROMNEY: Well, on everything. I mean, the only debate experience I had until 1994 when I debated Ted Kennedy, was arguing with my dad. And he would laugh and get the biggest delight out of the fact that we would argue like that.
TAPPER (voice-over): Romney's dad also taught him how to survive very public disappointment.
(on camera): The worst moment in his political career came when you were a missionary in France, you weren't even really aware of it when it was happening, that he had struggled with how to think about the Vietnam War. This is when he was contemplating a run for president in '67. And he was trying to explain what seems very simple in retrospect, that the generals and the Lyndon Johnson administration had not been honest about the progress of the war.
GEORGE W. ROMNEY, MITT ROMNEY'S FATHER: When I came back from Vietnam, I just had the greatest brainwashing that anybody can get.
TAPPER: The media jumped on it, and the Republican Party jumped on it, and to a degree, the Johnson administration jumped on it to portray your dad as not that smart or not that bright or whatever. But I know to this day it bothers you.
M. ROMNEY: He felt that on the trip that he had taken to Vietnam, that the generals there had lied to him, and that they had given him a complete, you know, load of baloney.
TAPPER: And he was right.
M. ROMNEY: And he was right. And, you know, years later, he was driving with my wife Ann to the airport back in Boston, and the news media came on with the former Secretary of Defense, McNamara.
TAPPER: Oh, yes.
M. ROMNEY: And McNamara said on the air that he and the administration had lied to the American people. And Ann turned to my dad and said, George -- we called him Barta. Barta, I mean, that must make you just furious. He's finally admitting that you were telling the truth and he was the one lying. My dad looked back and said, I don't ever look back. I only look forward.
TAPPER (voice-over): But his father did not live to see his son's political success.
M. ROMNEY: He was there for the major events in my life but communicated frequently and thoroughly how much he admired me and thought I had huge things in store. When I lost in 1994 to Ted Kennedy, he said, oh, this is just the beginning. My dad was insistent.
Oh, no, you're not finished. I became governor in 2003. So almost 10 years later.
TAPPER (on camera): Yes, and then the Republican nominee for president and then a very well-respected senator. I mean, he missed all of that, but...
M. ROMNEY: I hope he gets a chance to look in. But my guess is he's not looking back. He's looking forward on the other side. It's like, oh, I'm sure Mitt's doing great. I'm going ahead.
TAPPER: Is there any regret that he didn't get to see that or does it matter?
M. ROMNEY: No, I'd love him to still be part of our life. I think from time to time, what I would give, how much money I would give to spend a day with him.
TAPPER: Yes.
M. ROMNEY: Just, I mean, I don't think there's a limit. I would give -- I'd give it all to spend a day and to have that chat.
TAPPER: Do you realize how lucky you are? Do you realize how few people not only feel the way that you did and do about your dad, but everything was spoken, everything was said, all the love and admiration back and forth was voiced. You don't have any doubts about how he felt about you.
[09:25:15]
He didn't have any doubts about how you felt about him. Do you know how rare that is?
M. ROMNEY: Ann and I speak frequently that I was raised enormously wealthy, not in terms of money, although we had plenty, but in terms of the affection of my parents, the extraordinary wealth of that in your life. And then being able to connect with them and being part of their life until the very end, until my dad died at 88.
TAPPER: Do you realize how much you and Ann are doing the exact same thing for your kids and grandkids?
M. ROMNEY: We try to follow their example. The thing is it doesn't bother me in the slightest that I don't measure up to what he was. In my opinion, he was a more extraordinary character and had more strength and vitality in his conviction than I do --that I did. I mean, I long for that, but it doesn't make me feel small. And you just say, I was lucky to have a dad like that.
And I'm glad I could be as much like that as possible.
TAPPER (voice-over): Mitt and Ann Romney went on to raise five sons of their own.
(on camera): What lessons did you teach them or was it just the lesson of example?
M. ROMNEY: Yes, I think it's a lesson of example. I knew that there were some things that I thought would make a difference. I thought it was important for each of my boys to be comfortable being different.
One thing that's actually an advantage of being in a relatively small religion is that you grow up knowing you're different. It's not your ambition to fit in with everybody, but instead to have your own convictions and to be able to stick by them and not worry about what other people think.
TAPPER (voice-over): Now Romney has 25 grandchildren and two great- grandchildren. And every summer, he keeps up his parents' tradition of a family road trip.
(on camera): What's the last one you did? M. ROMNEY: Last year, we took a small group, three 14-year-olds. This
year, we've got five -- no, six. We're taking a group of six, ages 13 and 14 years of age.
TAPPER: These are grandkids.
M. ROMNEY: Grandkids. And we'll go to Arches National Park, Bryce National Park, Zion National Park. We'll go to the tombstones of my great-great grandparents in St. George, Utah. Then we'll go to the Grand Canyon. We'll go to Lake Powell. And we'll show them the American West.
We'll read from the same books that my mom and dad read to us from. We'll read Scripture at night with them and say prayers together, very much in the same mold that my mom and dad did, although we've compressed this to 10 days because that's kind of all we can handle. My dad and mom did it for 30 days.
TAPPER: That's a lot.
M. ROMNEY: Yes.
TAPPER: That is a log.
M. ROMNEY: It was a lot. But they also went into Canada and went to Jasper and Lake Louise. So they showed my kids even a larger portion of the American West.
TAPPER (voice-over): Romney's son, Josh, joined us to share his perspective on his dad.
(on camera): What's it like when you hear your dad talk about his dad?
JOSH ROMNEY, MITT ROMNEY'S SON: I feel the same way about him as he does about his dad and my grandfather, for that matter. He has set such an incredible example for me and my brothers.
A little tough to live up to. I mean, when you have a dad as successful as he is and as intelligent, we don't debate a lot because usually if he takes the other side of an argument, I just agree because I realize he's right. So it's just much easier to agree early and have him explain why he's right.
TAPPER (voice-over): Josh said the person that America saw during the 2012 presidential campaign is not the real Mitt Romney.
(on camera): You could still hear the frustration in his voice talking about his father's comments about being brainwashed about Vietnam and how unfair that was to his career. And you must feel that way about coverage and treatment of your father by the political media world.
J. ROMNEY: Yes, I think it's hard. I think in a lot of ways, too, that experience he had with his father made him more cautious on the campaign trail, made him have to hold back a lot of times. I think there are a lot of times people say, I wish we could see the real Mitt Romney because I think he was cautious from time to time because he saw what happened to his dad.
You had to be really careful. You couldn't mess up once. And I think if people really got to know who my dad is, it would have been a much easier political career for him.
You look at almost every politician we have, they're in it for themselves and what's in it for them. My dad's one of those guys who had a lot going for him. He didn't need the accolades of being a governor or a senator or president.
He wanted to give back.
TAPPER: What's it like to hear your son talk about you like that?
M. ROMNEY: He's mostly right.
(LAUGHTER)
M. ROMNEY: Well, often wrong. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I mean, I'm so proud of my sons. And I watch them with their kids. They're better -- they're better dads than I was.
TAPPER (voice-over): Maybe that's the Romney family legacy. Again, a lesson Mitt learned from his father.
M. ROMNEY: I remember asking him when he was 88 years old, Ann and I sat down with him and said, Dad, you've been head of a car company. You've been a governor, member of a cabinet. What's the most important accomplishment of your life?
[09:30:03]
And he said, raising you four kids.
TAPPER (on camera): Is that how you feel?
M. ROMNEY: Absolutely. There's no question. My greatest accomplishment is primarily one carried out by Ann, but together we have raised five wonderful sons.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
TAPPER: We will be right back with more on our special Father's Day episode of STATE OF THE UNION.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SCOTT: The truth of the matter is that, when you are drifting, you never drift in the right direction.
And a lot of that has to do with the absence of a father.
(END VIDEO CLIP) (COMMERCIAL BREAK)
TAPPER: Welcome back to a special Father's Day episode of STATE OF THE UNION.
Republican South Carolina Senator Tim Scott just recently became a stepfather in his 50s. It's a role he's really embracing after having had a difficult relationship with his own father.
[09:35:10]
(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)
TAPPER: So who's this?
SCOTT: Oh, my brother Ben, my mother. That's...
TAPPER: Are you -- are you -- where are you in the ranking of the kids?
SCOTT: I'm 2.5 years younger than my brother.
TAPPER: OK.
SCOTT: Yes. And this is the Brown Street apartments. I remember this place. It's a very poor neighborhood. That's probably the biggest impact of the father of not being there is usually, when the father leaves, the income goes as well.
TAPPER: Oh, yes.
SCOTT: It's probably one of the more devastating parts of actually living in a single-parent household.
TAPPER: Yes.
(voice-over): Republican Senator Tim Scott was only 7 years old when his father left.
(on camera): How did not having a dad affect you when you were a kid? I mean, it must have been just sad. Like, you see friends of yours that had mom and dad, and you didn't have that.
SCOTT: Well, it's certainly painful, without any question.
I think one of the things you're missing is the person who helps you understand who you are and what your potential is. And without that, it's easy to drift in the wrong direction. And as a freshman in high school, I think life had compounded on my shoulders enough where I was lost.
And so I ultimately failed four subjects my freshman year. And I can joke about it now as an adult of failing Spanish and English and two other subjects, but the truth of the matter is that, when you are drifting, you never drift in the right direction.
And a lot of that has to do with the absence of a father.
TAPPER (voice-over): Scott carries lifelong hurt and feelings of abandonment. But his father was struggling with his own demons.
A black Vietnam veteran, when he returned home, Scott says his dad was met at the airport by an angry mob, who screamed at him and spat in his face.
(on camera): So I know he was a Vietnam veteran. How much of that -- did that play a role in his leaving, in the difficulties he might have had?
SCOTT: Yes, I think it was a significant role.
As you will recall, coming back from Vietnam for all soldiers was a painful experience. They were rejected by our society writ large.
As a black military person coming back to our country, you can add the racial component on top of that in late '60s, early '70s. It was just a painful, miserable experience for him coming back. So, the complicated nature of life makes the scar tissue that's not visible manifest in a visible way.
TAPPER (voice-over): When Scott's father left, his grandparents took the family in.
SCOTT: We moved into my grandfather's house back in 1972. And he was such a -- just a prince of a man. He just -- he was a tough disciplinarian, a man of a few words, but actually...
TAPPER (on camera): Sounds like you needed it, though.
SCOTT: They worked out well for me.
(LAUGHTER)
TAPPER (voice-over): He taught Scott lessons he'd learned from overcoming unimaginable hardship, such as leaving elementary school after the third grade to pick cotton and do other farmwork.
SCOTT: My grandfather, who grew up in segregated South Carolina, taught me very quickly. He said: "Son, you can get bitter because of the negative experiences you're having or you can get better. I recommend you get better."
And how do you do that? Well, you have someone who models that behavior in front of you. My grandfather was always present in my life until he passed away in 2016. And so while I didn't have my dad, I had someone who was a significant, ever-present, always the rock you're leaning on, and someone who's consistently proud of you, and someone who was willing to tell you the truth when you were not doing things really well.
And this is me and my dad, his house in -- I think in Texas. So we were hanging out. We have -- I see him probably a couple of times a year now. So... TAPPER (on camera): He must be so proud of you.
SCOTT: I think he is. He's also a man of few words. So -- but he is. He tells me that every once in a while. And...
TAPPER: I mean, you're -- I don't know if you know this, but you're a senator.
SCOTT: You know, I think the...
TAPPER: ... from South Carolina.
SCOTT: Yes, it's an accomplishment.
TAPPER: You reconciled with your father in your late 20s, early 30s.
SCOTT: Yes, 30s, yes.
TAPPER: Tell -- how did that happen?
SCOTT: Yes, I think it was just time.
Listen, we kept, we kept coming together during special occasions or during visits. And, over time, you learn that even your dad was never perfect. And, as kids, you see your parents through these rose-colored glasses.
TAPPER: You saw your dad through rose-colored glasses?
SCOTT: Absolutely. Even though he wasn't there, absolutely.
TAPPER: Really?
SCOTT: Yes, absolutely. You -- it's hard to...
TAPPER: That's surprising to me.
SCOTT: Really?
TAPPER: Well, just because he wasn't there. And I would think you would feel sad and maybe mad at him. No?
SCOTT: Not really. You're mad when you get older, but you're not really mad -- the truth of the matter is, I don't know very many kids who don't want to make their dads proud.
TAPPER: Yes.
SCOTT: I -- so I think that there's a misnomer and a misperception that a kid who's separated from their father does not yearn for their father's approval. That's just the way it is.
[09:40:05]
And, for me, the combination between looking for it and having a grandfather who is there was really important. It doesn't solve all the problems. But I don't think we should make it into something that is not. It's really important that -- that's why the family is such an important part of the equation.
TAPPER: So what was it like with the -- when you reconciled? How was it?
SCOTT: It was -- I think it was -- it was painful. It's far more painful than when you were a teenager. Or, at least, for me, it was, because you're now confronting real issues head on. And...
(CROSSTALK)
TAPPER: As an adult, where you can say, like, I was -- I know what it's like to be this age and you weren't there for me.
SCOTT: Yes, absolutely.
But I also realized along the way the pain and the misery that he experienced shaped his life. And the pain and the misery that I experienced shaped my life.
And so, if you want people to come together, particularly fathers and sons, in this society today, it's a recognition that, while he is your dad, and he is someone you look up to or you wanted to look up to, the truth of the matter is, he's just human, that, as he encounters real life, it creates real scar tissue.
And that scar tissue is hard to digest, hard to process, hard to deal with. And the more I understood that, the easier it was to reconcile.
TAPPER (voice-over): Two years ago, at age 58, Scott married fellow South Carolinian Mindy Noce. He went from being a longtime bachelor to the stepfather of three children on the cusp of adulthood.
(on camera): This is your new family.
SCOTT: My family, yes. Yes.
TAPPER: Yes.
SCOTT: Yes, that's Luci, the most recent graduate and P.J. is a tennis pro and teaches tennis. And Gabby's (ph) a marketing guru.
TAPPER: Beautiful family.
SCOTT: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
TAPPER: That's great. She came ready-made.
SCOTT: She did, indeed, thank God.
TAPPER: I saw you posted on social media: "Proud dad moment."
SCOTT: Yes. TAPPER: "Congratulations to my daughter Luci on her graduation. I know
God has great things in store."
Do the kids call you dad?
SCOTT: No, they call me Tim.
TAPPER: OK.
SCOTT: Yes, definitely not. When you come into their lives that late in life, they don't call you dad, I don't think.
TAPPER: Right.
(CROSSTALK)
SCOTT: ... so far.
But I think what is important is, when I talk to their -- when I talk to their teachers, and they talk about the positive father figure you have become in their lives...
TAPPER: Oh, nice.
SCOTT: ... that is powerful.
When you're invited to walk her out, the father-daughter football game moment, it's a blessing from the lord when you have a chance to play that significant role by invitation. And my pastor told me when I got married, he says, listen, you're marrying the mother. You're not marrying the kids. They're not asking you to be their father. You have to earn the right to have influence in their lives.
Really important advice. And that means keep your mouth closed until invited into the conversation. And that has served me really well.
TAPPER: On this Father's Day, what's your message to all the people out there, either the dads or the people who don't have dads?
SCOTT: If you are without a father, do not think that his absence somehow makes you less qualified to do anything.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made, but it is your responsibility at a certain age to take responsibility of your life and to make the most out of it. Do not let your dad's absence be an excuse for doing something that you will later regret.
TAPPER: That's powerful.
(END VIDEOTAPE)
TAPPER: Our thanks to Senator Scott for sharing his story with us.
Coming up: If you're missing your father today, well, you're not alone.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
[09:48:04]
TAPPER: Welcome back to a special Father's Day episode of STATE OF THE UNION.
If you're missing your father today, you're not alone. Musician Stephen Wilson Jr. has a song called "Father's Son" from his album "Son of Dad."
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
(MUSIC)
[09:50:00]
(MUSIC)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TAPPER: What I'm thinking about on Father's Day -- next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
TAPPER: When friends or staffers are about to have their first child, I always say the same thing.
[09:55:02]
I say, you are about to discover a capacity to love within you that you do not even know you have.
With all due respect and deference to those who do not have kids, whether by choice or otherwise, I say this because it is true for me. My daughter, Alice, my son, Jack, my wife, Jennifer, who brought these beautiful children to me, you three are not only the most important people in my lives.
You are everything to me. You are the best of me. On this Father's Day, I send you my appreciation.
And, to my father, who I love dearly, I send you my love and appreciation as well.
But, most importantly, to all of you, to moms, to dads, to brothers and sisters, to sons and daughters, to those who miss your dad, to those who never had a dad and wish you had had one, to all of you, I send you my deepest wishes for a meaningful Father's Day.
